[ A shake of the head before he scrubs his hands over his face; eyes shut, a crease between his brows.

When he speaks again, it's as if talking about this makes him nervous. Because he kind of really is. ]

I've been off-balance around you since Seigi. Even before... [ thinking back now to the way he'd tried to talk to you once Jessie was safe, and the juvenile action of taking away your cigarettes because you kept on dodging.

He's seen you enough times in moments when you'd been out of sorts to know that when you can't light your cigarette without clicking that lighter thrice... it's pretty bad.

But it had thrown him, you see. You suddenly avoiding him as if that brief moment at the Faura smocket and the drive to Falner hadn't seen the two of you good. ]

It just threw me. [ Gaze back now to his hands, and he's remembering how it had felt to hold you; to touch you. ] I thought we were good. And for some reason, I look away and we weren't. And that hurt because on top of worrying about Jessie... I couldn't even talk to you to ask what was wrong.

[ He falls quiet then. ]

So, I opened up to her about it. [ From your view, there'sa shift of something in his eyes. A shuttering, even before he closes them and turns his face away. ]

She said there's no such thing as a perfect friendship.

[ The way Josh is saying that for the second time tonight makes it clear that the statement had cut right to the core of him. ]

I'm not saying that... our... you know. That this is perfect but... [ he trails off. ]