[ You always are, aren't you? In every capacity for him, every damned second of every day.
What the hell is he going to do as the years pass, as he sees you getting older and feels himself start to truly burn out? What is it going to be like when he stares down at your grave, still haunted by the echo of your voice in his ears/your scent/the particular weight of your arms around him?
Why does he even try with anyone, when it's always, always going to end the same way, no matter how good it gets?
Maybe it's those thoughts that make him crack at the end, because he usually succeeds at shoving them so far down and deep that he could almost pretend they don't exist - but tonight's events made it all rise to the surface.
Even as the look on his face shatters, even as he's slumping against you, he still can't bring himself to reach out and hold on like he doesn't ever want to let you go. ]
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What the hell is he going to do as the years pass, as he sees you getting older and feels himself start to truly burn out? What is it going to be like when he stares down at your grave, still haunted by the echo of your voice in his ears/your scent/the particular weight of your arms around him?
Why does he even try with anyone, when it's always, always going to end the same way, no matter how good it gets?
Maybe it's those thoughts that make him crack at the end, because he usually succeeds at shoving them so far down and deep that he could almost pretend they don't exist - but tonight's events made it all rise to the surface.
Even as the look on his face shatters, even as he's slumping against you, he still can't bring himself to reach out and hold on like he doesn't ever want to let you go. ]