icarusalsoflew | 003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

[The quiet attempt on Hikaru's part to both reassure you and bring you out of whatever dark thoughts that you're starting to drown yourself in comes in the form of another kiss on your lips.

His words come soft in the next moment, as he's withdrawing.]

I'll be honest with you. [And fixing his gaze, without hesitation, to yours.] I ended up telling her how I felt about you. I wanted to make sure it came from me before someone else in the family caught on and ended up talking to her about it.

[She really is his daughter now, after all.]

I think she was saying that out of concern for the both of us.

[But it was an interesting choice of words on Brianna's part. At least it was in Hikaru's opinion.]

Edited 2014-03-11 18:59 (UTC)

[ When you draw back, there is a split second wherein he looks like he wants to follow. But he holds back, nods, as he absorbs all of that.

There's a crease between his brows again. In light of that information, because the awful feeling in the pit of his stomach that he'd shelved while spending that afternoon with Bri is back and he doesn't like how that feels.

His hands are shaking. He's curling his fingers because he doesn't want them to shake. ]

You're worried that she might not approve.

[It seemed like the logical conclusion to make, based on how their conversation had gone so far and the way you look.

Now he's going to cover both of your hands with his.]

[ And this is him starting at that, staring at your hands on his, and then slowly lifting his eyes to yours.

He remembers the first time he'd ever seen violet eyes. He'd been packing his things, staring down at the wooden box of random shit that he'd taken to collecting over the years since he crossed Yggdrasil's Roots, and had just wound up the beautiful music box that he'd picked up because once upon a time Cindy had wanted to try out ballet -- and then looked up to see Sara Shinta smiling at him.

It was her eyes, more than anything else, that had caught him.

Josh doesn't know what he feels. Love is far too intimidating a word at this point for him to actually process. But he knows that you matter a great, big deal, and he knows that he wants you in whatever way he can get you.

He leans forward then, face pressing into your side, just a little bit lower than where your heart is caged inside your ribs, arms wrapping around you and carefully including Mitsuru in that embrace.

He likes that cat, okay. He cares a lot about the girl who gave it to you. But it hurts that she'd known how you'd felt and said what she did, because she might not have meant it the way that now twists him up inside -- but that's it. It hurts. ]

I'm just going to say it. Honesty Hour and all.

[ Man, why the hell is he tearing up again. This is ridiculous. ]

I'm only ever going to get this one life, you know. [ He shifts one arm, gathers a squirming Mitsuru close and presses his nose behind the kitten's ear. ]

And it sucks because... I can see your clock. And that thing -- I've seen it drop. [ Hiding his face back in your side. ] But I'm good with whatever this is. If it's the only thing I'm ever going to get. At least... at least I had you, right?

[ He sounds painfully, painfully in need of reassurance. But asking is hard. He's a Brennan. They pull their own weight. ]

[He's simply moving, of course, to respond to you in kind: with a hand against the nape of your neck to anchor you in place, and an arm around you to keep you close.

The truth is hard to hear regardless of the fact that he has already thought about this in the context of their relationship and where it might end up taking them in the future. It is also hard to hear the way that you say it, because clearly, this is ruining you in small, subtle but significant ways.]

You're not the only one who can see clocks.

[That is said softly. It seems as though they were both going to only constantly and painfully aware of the fact that they were going to do this on incredibly limited time.]

You have me. [And again, because he wants to reassure you.] You do.

[That was likely going to be the case for a long, long time, and well past Josh's own death. That was the way the Blade King fell in love: he stayed in it no matter how short the actual relationship ended up being, or how bad it ever got.]

[ And perhaps it is that reminder that snaps him out of his funk, because it's been a little over a week since that conversation he had with you about one Aria Skye and all of that is still surprisingly fresh.

Josh pushes up now, hand catching Hikaru by the nape to draw him close, so that his brow rests against the other man's. ]

You don't ruin everything you touch. [ Because he knows your part in the lives of the members of those three blades, knows your part in the lives of the ones he calls his own: that village in Russia, the plane from Vancouver, and other little stories he knows are between yourself and Brianna and Kaz and Brig. ] You won't ruin me.

[ Yes. He's kissing you now again, more certain of the way he can move his mouth over yours. ]

Edited 2014-03-11 19:50 (UTC)

[It's a difficult for him to believe at this point (that he wasn't, somewhere down the line, going to end up breaking them apart somehow; that things were going to be okay), but your lips against his lips is something he takes a fair amount of relief in.

He's going to smile at you once the two of you have withdrawn, after he's relaxed once again against your body and drawn the breath from your lungs in order to take some air for himself. He's seen too much to really believe that that will be the case, but you haven't given him any reason to doubt your sincerity, nor - at least at this point - the depth of your feelings.]

So I guess that means that we're really going to do this.

Edited 2014-03-11 19:57 (UTC)

[ And the smile he returns is a little bit shy, because yeah, he is definitely in with this... he just has no clue how it works.

Funny, how he'd never pictured himself in a situation like this, but it works. It's kind of... you. ]

We are. [ Gentle circles again, with his thumb, over the hand he draws into his. ] I'm just going to apologize if I'm slow. On the uptake. [ Sheepish smile. ]

This is all new to me. But you've got me.

That's all I really need to hear. As things stand, you're a pretty fast learner.

[Because yeah, if it wasn't for Mitsuru... yeah.

Anyway.]

I'll talk to Brianna soon. [A beat.] What about the rest?

[He isn't just referring to the War Hounds.]

[ He looks at Hikaru for a long time, and then nods gratefully about the offer to speak with Brianna, because he's not sure how to go about doing it.

Reaching out to scratch Mitsuru behind the ears, he smiles quietly. ] Are you talking about my family?

[ Cindy will be easy. And once she's on board, he'll be able to figure out how to approach his father about it. ] I'll talk to Cindy and she and I can tag-team Dad. But I wouldn't worry too much about either of them. They're very open people.[ And because he can't resist, he drops a kiss on one of Hikaru's painted shoulders. ]

It's the Hounds that I want to take things slow with.

All right. I'll go with what you want.

[He goes quiet for a moment, looking thoughtful.]

I suppose I'll check in with you before I let anyone else know from my end of things. Although... [Sending Josh a rueful look.] Some of them ARE going to find out on their own.

[ Nodding, at that first part, and then flopping down on the bed beside the Blade King. ] I just want to take it slow. This is... kind of a big thing. [ Have a Look, and a smile, and his hand finding yours again--

--before the second part finally sinks in.

He looks, in a word, like he just swallowed something that's made him stop breathing. ]

[Have you ever seen the Blade King look this apologetic?

No. No, you haven't. It's not that he's never had such an expression on his face before, just this time...]

Sorry? [Um.] If it helps, I am pretty sure that no one's listening in or watching us right now.

[ He takes in a deep breath at that, scratches a little at the side of his nose and promptly takes Mitsuru from you to set the kitten on his chest.

Josh is quiet for a bit, as if finally remembering who your family is, how many they are and how... eclectic their personalities tend to be.

Kasumi. Tohru Fukuzawa.

Tala Vega ( wince ). Selene Vega. Eli Tagabigay.

Kalika Shinta ( shit ).

The list goes on for a while and when he looks like he's finally come to the end of that long list of individuals-- ]

Remember that night? After Kaz had us here. And I insisted on joining you for your Walk? [ Stroking Misturu now, feeling the vibrations from the kitten's purrs beneath his palm and over his heart. ]

[He'd be lying if he didn't say that Josh's silence was making him a little uncomfortable. So he's focusing on watching the way Mitsuru and Josh interact and on smoking, at least until Josh speaks up again.]

Yeah. What about it?

I spoke to Alistair right after we parted ways.

[ Looking back now, and reaching up to trace his index finger along the curve of jaw near Hikaru's ear. He's smiling quietly. ]

He said you guys talked.

[He's almost instinctively leaning into your touch because it's... well, it's nice having someone do that to him. It's been way too long, and it's you, and --

-- and he has it bad for you. You must have noticed.]

We did.

[There's a small smile on his face now, as he's ducking his head. It's not that he's uncomfortable, nor that it's difficult to talk about. Quite the contrary, really.]

He and I both figured that we're in a great place right now, and with everything going on... it's just better like this, I guess.

[It made him sad, for a brief and painful moment. Now, though, he has no reason to doubt the new place that Alistair Mordechai has made for the Blade King in his life, nor doubt the other man's resolve.]

[ Watching you like this, seeing the expressions that cross your face gives him this sinking sensation in his chest.

It's not a bad one. It really isn't, but it's surprising and it catches him off balance because just as he's remembering the words he'd traded with the Malice King on that wall, he's pushing up and carefully setting a softly protesting Mitsuru on his lap, one hand moving to catch your shoulder, the other following shortly to turn your face to his.

The look on his face is open and earnest and maybe... just a little bit scared. But he presses his lips to yours and it's like his heart is there with each shift of his lips.

When he does pull back ( some... two? three minutes later? ) his eyes flutter shut and he presses his forehead to your temple. ]

So does this mean I can keep you? [ Soft, hopeful, and totally, totally gone on you. ]

[He's responding to that urgency, because he wants nothing more than to put you at ease and show in everything that he does - his words, his gestures, the little ways he answers you - that he means it.

This time, his answer is also soft because the taste of your mouth and the feel of your lips and tongue on his has left him a little breathless. If only you could understand what it's like, LaRue, to be so perfectly attuned to someone with all of ones' senses.]

Yes.

[And you'll have him for as long as you want him.]

[ There are words on the tip of his tongue -- words he wants to say, because it feels so right to say them.

But he won't. Not yet. Not when this is all so new even if he feels certain that they won't change, except in the way that he'd seen his parents look at each other, once, long ago.

No. Not, just yet. So he'll kiss you instead and smile against your mouth, one hand's fingers tracing the curve of your ear. ] Good.

003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject