icarusalsoflew | 003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

[ And the tenderness in his eyes doesn't leave, even as something in those depths holds ground. ]

Well, whoever they are, they don't count. [ There's a gentle tug of a smile on the corner of his mouth. ] White noise, Hikaru. That's all they are.

[ What was it his mother had said--

Right.

Catching one of your hands now, passing a thumb over the lines crisscrossing on Hikaru's palm.

( How could a monster have such gentle hands? ) ]

Mom told me what you did. How you stayed and kept her company until she was more or less okay.

Anyone else would have let her be. But not you.

[ His eyes are a little misty now, and he's lifting your palm to his lips and pressing a kiss to the center of it. ] If you were unnecessary, I wouldn't have gotten her back. The world would have since gone to shit, and no one would be better off.

[ Honesty Hour. Because he needs you to hear all this. ] I stopped believing in a God that gave a shit after my mom left without a word. It helped a little when I got sick, easier to think that random, shitty things just happen because you draw the short straw.

But I'm not dead. I have my family and my boys back, I have a blade I would gladly lay myself on the line for, and people who I respect who seem to see something in me that I'm still wrapping my head around.

[ He's pinning you with an honest-to-Elaine look that shows his heart there in his eyes. ] You've had your hand in my life even before either of us ever met.

I don't believe in much by way of divine intervention, but it's a pretty sound defense for why you're relevant enough to exist.

[He's quiet throughout all of that, as he's fallen to watching your face, watching what you're doing, and absorbing the comforting weight of your presence.

It's amazing, really, the kind of effect that you have on him. He hasn't had something like this with anyone for such a long time.

This is how he thanks you for making him start to believe in that again: by shifting over, and giving you a soft and quiet kiss right on your mouth.]

I find, for once, that I can't really argue with you there.

[ That is earning you a smile from him, one filled with relief and gratefulness because he doesn't want to argue, doesn't want to be told there are holes in his logic -- just this once, he'd like to be right. ]

Good.

[ Wrapping his arms around you now and hiding his face in your chest so that he can effectively inhale your familiar scent and bask in your warmth. ]

[He stays where he is for a good long time, because he can't bother himself to do anything else for a bit beyond enjoy the closeness between you. What makes him realize, though, that he probably should go through the motions of settling down properly is the fact that he yawns before he could stop himself.

Um. Oops. Looking at you a little sheepishly before pushing himself up.]

I should change.

[ There's a slight nod as he lets his arms fall away from you, the expression on his face more relaxed than it's been in a while. ]

Go ahead, [ smiling now, and lifting the back of one hand to cover his own mouth because yawns are surprisingly contagious. ]

[Giving you a look over his shoulder as he's making a beeline for the closet.]

You should get some sleep too.

[Then, right after he's gotten his clothes and is about to enter the bathroom:]

You... you can stay with me, if you like.

[And now he's just. Shutting the door behind him now. Yeah.]

[ It's a little hard not to smile as that door closes, to feel relieved at the invitation to stay.

By the time you come out, he's moved to the head of your bed, and he's dozing. Just a little.

He'll crack an eye open when you step back out. ]

[In that case, you'll see the way Hikaru actually has to stop to watch you for a moment in the door frame. He can't wipe the smile off of his face, even as he's finally coming around and settling down right beside you.]

Maybe we can get breakfast in bed later.

[He kind of doesn't want to have to drag himself down to the Hall. That, and he's still feeling a little out of it after that bout he had with his remuneration.]

[ And this is Josh shifting so that you can rest your head on his shoulder if you so choose.

There's an amused look that crosses his face at your suggestion -- he could do without listening to poetry from the Whisperers. ]

I am okay with this. [ He's even surprising himself with just how okay he is with it, because the thought does cross his mind that in light of the kiss he'd landed on Hikaru yesterday, some people might note his own absence from the hall.

Or not. He'd feel differently if this were Rhiannon -- but the cat's out if the proverbial bag in that respect, so why fuss over what's done? ]

You sure you're okay with me spending the night?

[Well, since you did that... yeah, he's plopping his head down there, and looking up to study your face as you talk to him.]

Of course I am.

[The words come so easily. That is something he can dwell on later - not that it particularly matters at this point.]

[ Yeah... he's just... going to steal a kiss. And then come back for a second before he smiles and takes the whole look of you in. ]

Go sleep. I'll be right here.

003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

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