icarusalsoflew | 003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

[Even in his state, he's taking note of that look. Or maybe it's BECAUSE he's in this state that he's hyper aware, and therefore manages to notice it.]

What do you mean by that?

[Please don't tell him that you figured it out before he did --

-- of course you did. What the hell is wrong with him? How could he have been so slow?

Still. The question's out for you to answer as you will. Maybe he doesn't have to hit himself over the head too much after all. ~~Yeah, right.~~]

Edited 2014-05-12 05:37 (UTC)

[ Have a sympathetic look your way, Hikaru. ]

I never meant to pry. But after things went south with Aria, I was worried for you. [ Because that was another door closed in your face. Because he knows that when you love, it is a terrible and beautiful gift. Because you are a little brother to him and sometimes you don't even realize that you are falling until you are flat on the floor. ]

And then we spoke, on this very couch.

[ A sigh. ] And then I heard word that you went to San Diego. [ Have a Look, Blade King. ] With that one. Shortly after his... I gather it was his twenty-eighth birthday?

[Now he's just going to set his glass and his cigar down and sink his head very quietly into his hands for a moment.

Speaking a bit after. It's still muffled by his palms.]

That obvious, huh.

[Obvious to everyone but him, at least until he had made the connection just this morning.

Shit.]

[ Oh, Hikaru...

Have an arm around your shoulders then. He understands how difficult this must -- and will likely, be. The boy is not like the others. ]

Only because I know your patterns well. [ Saying that gently. ] I have known you for more than a handful of millenia.

[Give him a bit to try to figure out how to breathe around all of the tightness in his chest and throat, old friend.

He doesn't quite get to the level of "not okay" that he can manage, but it'll have to do. Pulling back, and going for that cigar again. Then the drink. Then back to the cigar.]

He has no idea.

[ ... ]

Well, that is... problematic.

[ Very.

Okay, he's pouring you both another round. ]

[He is definitely going to get you a bottle to replace that one at another time, because at the rate that he is falling apart right now? He's going to go through that thing very quickly in your company.]

I don't know what to do. I don't think I can change the way I feel, but...

[But the last time he tried, he ended up losing in a big way. Furthermore, risking that with someone who definitely won't be around for very long and also definitely deserves better than him just doesn't seem like a smart idea --

-- screw smart. Maybe at the end of it all, he isn't sure whether he could handle another loss, another possible rejection. Maybe if he had to try again and fail again, it really would end up ruining him.]

[ And if you actually let him know that you will replace the bottle just because you think you ought to, he might just give you a piece of his mind.

The Kings keep booze around for a reason -- and that reason is that it is to be drunk when the occasion requires it. ]

Must you change the way you feel?

[ Yes, it must be asked. ]

Shouldn't I?

[Because this isn't right, and it isn't fair to him, and it probably won't work out anyway. Practically everything that has happened to him as of late seems to be pointing in that direction.]

[ And on Riley's end he's wondering if it is fair to you, because caring about another is something that a person sometimes cannot help. Relationships work both ways, after all. ]

I cannot tell you what it is that you should or should not do, old friend. Because ultimately, whatever you decide to will have consequences for good or for ill.

It is a... "cop out" answer, I understand. But this is your heart. [ He also takes a moment to pause, because he has been taking quiet note of your movements. ] And the boy is also one of your good friends.

[ It is a new friendship, true. But you, of all people, put stock in such things with all your heart. ]

[His lips twist at that, and you're going to see his eyes fix on the way he's twisting his hands around in front of him before he finally occupies them, once again, with the cigar, the Bourbon.]

I can live with that. Us just being friends.

[He can make himself live with that. The Blade King has always been a creature of conviction, hasn't he?]

[ He pats your knee at that. Conversations like this are always so difficult. Perhaps if he knew more, then he could be a little more helpful. ]

Stay as long as you like, Hikaru.

[ That's Riley speak for: this place is a safe place, and I am all too happy to keep you company until you feel that you have gathered yourself together again. ]

003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

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