icarusalsoflew | 003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

[ Yulia is off to one side, fuming. She's angry, frustrated and embarrassed with the way things went on that night. She wants to kill Brigade with her bare hands, but she knows she couldn't do that to her blade mate, no matter how angry she is with him. It's also why she's distanced herself from Taning and Brig.

She didn't think their initiation would end like this- should end like this. It shouldn't have. Goddamn Brigade and his goddamn shoe. ]

[And even while he's all smiles and joking around with the boys, he DOES have his eye on Yulia. He can feel her frustration; it's practically a force of nature at the girl's disposal.

It's for that reason that - when they have all headed back to Kibo (Blood Walked, because a flight would take too damned long), and Taning and Brig have gone off, he touches her arm and smiles.]

Will you let me walk you back to your room?

[ She jumps at the touch. Totally not expecting that. She blinks, trying to hide the very obvious frown on her face. ]

I-- alright.

[ She only looks a little confused. ]

[And of course he'll act like she's not confused at all. It probably helps, right?]

Shall we?

[ She just nods, not trusting her voice to keep her anger from showing. But it does help that Hikaru is pretending that nothing is wrong. She calms down a bit, but remains quiet along the way. ]

[He'll let that go on for at least half of the way. Then:]

Talk to me. You can, you know.

[ She takes a breath, ready to rant and ramble on. She sighs instead, loud and exasperated. ]

With respect, Blade King, I do not think you should have passed us.

Oh? Why not?

[He's listening, all right.]

That-- What happened back there, it was defeat! [ She's not walking, she's stomping. Angrily.

She crosses her arms, to prevent herself from grabbing a knife and mutilating a nearby object. ]

It was humiliating defeat, and we do not deserve passing verdict. It was supposed to be a test of skill. We could not even work together to bring you down! There was no finesse in that battle, no- no strategy, no teamwork, no skill, nothing!

[ She's stopped walking, now. She's gritting her teeth, nails digging into her arms trying to stop herself from shaking with anger. But it clearly shows, her frustration, her humiliation, her broken pride. Her voice starts breaking. ]

I have worked so hard for years to get here, not to have it end like that.

[Stopping as well, keeping a respectful but ultimately pragmatic distance (far enough away to not intrude, close enough to move in if he had to). He only speaks when she's done.]

Do you doubt me, Yulia?

[ She shakes her head, bites back a sob. ]

No! I just do not understand why.

[ Why, even with how the whole fight--if you could even call it that; it was a mess--ended, they passed. With Hikaru laughing his ass off. It was the most horrible experience, for her. It made her feel inadequate. Undeserving. ]

[Tilting his head down a little now, and angling his gaze up to meet Yulia's with a smile.]

Defeating me doesn't always have to involve trying to kill me, you know.

[He says that softly, and continues to try to be as gentle as possible.]

[ And it just hits her, hard, and she can't stop the sob. Her hand goes up to cover her mouth and she tries to to keep from sobbing more; she can't even hold his gaze.

She understands what he means, but she couldn't get herself to accept.

And that sucked the most. ]

[He watches all of this, and then quietly comes around in front of her. Then he's crouching down, looking up. Waiting.

No need to push too hard. He wasn't going to turn away though.]

Few can do that. The three of you have proven that you can.

[Just like them.]

[ She turns away, angrily, mostly at herself for letting this get to her; for letting Brigade's antics get to her. And she rubs at her eyes, the traitors, she isn't supposed to be crying. Not in front of the Blade King. ]

[Have a handkerchief extended in your direction, Yulia, with a quiet smile. The look on his face also tells you that no one's ever going to know about this.]

You deserve this. You did good.

[ It only makes her crying worse; sobbing quietly, she hesitates to take Hikaru's handkerchief, but she eventually does. Her hands and her sleeves weren't going to do so much.

Now, she just feels embarrassed for her outburst.

Once she's calmed down enough: ]

...Sorry.

Don't.

[He means it, as he's peering up at her face.]

I hope you feel better now.

[ She nods, choosing not to speak. She feels more embarrassed than anything, as she's wiping the last stains of tears on her cheeks with his handkerchief. She should... wash it. And return it. Soon. ]

Keep it.

[You're easy to read that way, Yulia. It's one of your best qualities. =w=

Standing up now, and reaching into his coat for the real reason why he wanted to walk her back.]

Here. This is from Saxon, Breton, and me.

[A wrapped mask.]

[ She would have, but she's made up her mind. She'll return the handkerchief the next chance she gets.

Now, she looks curiously at the wrapped item. Saxon and Breton and Hikaru..?

She takes it and unwraps it carefully; it reveals a mask in a red so deep it was almost black, carved with a sinister grin that showed off sharp canines. She touches it gently, fondly, tracing the curves and edges.

She smiles, small and shy, and hugs the mask to her chest. She still can't quite look Hikaru in the eye, but--]

Thank you.

[And it's nice, watching her do that, seeing how it matters that much to her, how he, Saxon and Breton might have just managed to salvage the evening.]

So I guess you like it, then?

Yes. Thank you.

[ She's still holding the mask to her, feeling much... lighter than ten minutes ago.

Tonight was... emotionally overwhelming. ]

Good.

[And leaning in, touching one of her shoulders, kissing her cheek.]

Welcome to Zangyaku, sister. I think we'll have a good run together.

003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

April 25, 2063 ; Masks.

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