003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

[icarusalsoflew]

Take a prompt, take some time, drop in as you like. If you're from Eudio, though, mosey on down here.

Comments

[icarusalsoflew]

That none of you are really his. That he doesn't actually have anyone.

[Leaning back, taking a drag.]

Companionship, or the lack thereof, only becomes a problem when you start caring.

[And Death has started caring. So.]

[larue]

Oh.

[ Huh. That is... a problem... right? ]

But we-- [ he cuts himself off at that. Because saying that they tried to include Death in their interactions sounds terribly trite. Even if they had, in their own way.

Shaking his head now. ] Sorry, forget I said anything.

[icarusalsoflew]

[A small smile, but it disappears the moment he's bringing that cigarette back to his lips.]

Go ahead, Josh.

[Even if he has an idea of what you might have tried to say. They need to talk this out, and Death needs to hear it.]

[larue]

[ A shake of the head at that. The press of his lips together, an indicator that he's uncomfortable with this enough as it is. ]

It's okay. It's nothing.

[ Lighting up a cigarette now, that frown still between his brows. ]

[icarusalsoflew]

Josh.

[He says it as gently as possible, but the look on his face might tell you that he has no plans of letting this go. He normally would.

Normally.]

[larue]

[ He smokes through about a third of that cigarette before he exhales something that sounds like a sigh. His gaze is still averted, because this is hard.

They tried. But they also didn't know how to move -- at least, that's his take on it. He can't really speak for the rest. He tried. But the conversation had ended on an awkward note and it's not like he could have taken what he said back, because it wasn't somethung he could give into anyway. ]

We tried. [ Wait. Amending that. ] We wanted to anyway -- I did. But we didn't know how to move. I didn't know how to move.

And it wasn't even that it was awkward for me. I let that go right away. He asked, it just wasn't an option.

[ Leaning back now, and adding softly: ] Yulia had better luck.

[icarusalsoflew]

[Going quiet for a moment as he's sifting through the memories that Death is now letting him see.

Okay. He understands why Yulia had managed to have a bit of a breakthrough.]

I think he had figured out a bit of what he was feeling by then. With Yulia, I mean.

[larue]

[ He's smoking through that cigarette a little more as he nods quietly. ]

That's good.

[icarusalsoflew]

[Quiet for a moment after that, as he busies himself with assessing his boy's mood. He doesn't speak until he's done with his cigarette and already lighting up another one.]

It's hard for Him, you know. All of this isn't his at the end of it. The best he'll usually get is reluctant tolerance, and most everyone just won't get it.

[Brother Death is Brother Death, after all.]

[larue]

[ He's remembering the way Brother Death had gone up to the top of that boat the day they'd encountered Oliver Queen. It had been easy to kick back and relax, to treat the day like the vacation it had been intended to be. Josh hadn't been able to help but glance over several times though, wondering if he should walk over, worried that he might give offense. ]

There were... [ He starts, takes ones last drag and exhales as he kills that cigarette. ] There were a couple of times I was thinking of walking over.

At least, at first.

[ In Russia, before the trip to the Mariana Trench, he'd deliberately given Brother Death space. Their conversation had ended awkwardly and it had been unnerving to catch those little tells that made him look more like you. ] But I guess my timing was off or I just took too long to calibrate and then there was just so much going on.

[ And by that he means preparations for the Hour. ]

[icarusalsoflew]

I don't think there's ever good timing for this sort of matter, especially when the other party cannot People.

[You'll probably be able to hear the capitalization there.]

You tried: He knows that. I think he was as much at a loss with what to do with you as the lot of you were with Him.

[larue]

[ You actually make him smile in spite of himself.

He's nodding in assent to all of that. It makes sense: not much time, awkwardness all around and life just carrying on anyway.

Lighting up a second cigarette now and looking off to the side where he can spot the both of you reflected in the window glass. ]

[icarusalsoflew]

[And on Hikaru's end, he's still going through his own cigarette and watching you.]

I saw the playback, by the way.

[Stating that softly, and matter-of-fact.]

[larue]

[ He doesn't mean to freeze, but when he does, he knows that you'd have picked up on that.

He's chasing the dryness on his lips with his tongue before he finally turns his eyes your way. ]

I... [ lifting a hand to scratch nervously at the patch of skin right at the left corner of his mouth. ] I wasn't going to bring that up.

[ He'd shelved it. He's not going to bother denying that he wanted to know. But he'd shelved it. Cindy had a point when she told him that strategically, why bother wiping out just one clearly demoralized hunter out of the 101 that had made up the entirety of Wave 6. There were bigger fish to fry and time was important. So yeah, it happened to be him. Big deal. ]

[icarusalsoflew]

It's a part of this discussion, isn't it?

[Saying that softly, as his fingers idly take a turn along the rim of his glass. Then he's downing some of that booze, and pouring himself a little more.]

There are several levels to it, really. They're right, for one: it was strategically sound, given the circumstances.

[larue]

[ He nods in agreement, but is voice is just as soft when he responds: ] It was.

[ He's taking another drag of that cigarette. ]

[icarusalsoflew]

[Taking one for himself, as well.]

For another, he's aware of the intimate connection between you and I. He's also attached to me in an almost human fashion.

[Leveling you with a look.]

If that had been a real fight, don't you think it would have destroyed me? Coming back, and realizing that I had killed you? That he had, using me?

[larue]

[ He's about to say "But it wasn't a real fight," when the words die in his throat because he's remembering two things: that dossier and the life where you'd killed Katherine Stiles, and the sight of you with your son, by the riverbank at Seth's Rest.

He's reaching for your hand now, tangling his fingers in yours.

No words just yet. ]

[icarusalsoflew]

[He'll take that, of course, and give you a wan smile.]

There is also the fact that I think he's fascinated by you. He just doesn't understand what he's feeling at the moment.

[And they're both sure now that it isn't the bleed.]

[larue]

[ Wait-- ]

W-what?

[icarusalsoflew]

Well, it only follows, right? Having emotions means being capable of getting attached to people.

[Or falling for them.]

[larue]

[ This is the face of SO MUCH NO. ]

That’s... true.

[ He's going to pour himself another glass of Hibiki. ]

[icarusalsoflew]

[Noting you doing that, along with the emotions flickering over your face and in your eyes.

Squeezing your hand, and smiling a little more.]

He can't help it. Give it time?

[larue]

[ And what you'll get is an utterly helpless look of okay, but this is kind of... unsettling on his face.

Yes, he is moving his chair closer to you and leaning over to wrap his arms around you and just... hide his face in your chest. ]

[icarusalsoflew]

[Chuckling a little, and planting a kiss right on top of your head.]

Sorry?

[He can't do much about it, even if he wanted to.]