icarusalsoflew | 003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

[ He's killing that cigarette even if he's not yet done and then pushing himself off the bed to greet you. ]

Hey.

[ If he looks a little shy, it's only because he'd like to reach for your hand, but he can't quite gauge what you're feeling. ]

Hi.

[ ...Now what? This is kind of awkward.

Still, it is a pretty big improvement from. Well.

Okay. No need to think about it. He's had his space, he's had more time to think, and you and the rest of the Hounds managed to sort things out between yourselves. ]

Have you eaten dinner already?

Yeah, I did.

[ It was a pretty quiet and quick dinner. He spent time with the Hounds already, but even taking time to sit by Aidan hadn't been able to take the edge out of his concern for you. ]

H...Have you?

[ You're back late so it's probably safe to assume that you have -- but he's going to ask anyway, because it hasn't been the kind of day that'd get a body's appetite up. ]

Mm-hm.

[ It's a bit surreal how under any other circumstances, this would be a perfectly normal, totally acceptable conversation. ]

Give me a bit. I'm going to dress down for the night.

[ And he's just... going to go behind that screen over there and do exactly that. ]

[ And while you're doing that, he's going to attempt to not feel awkward or anxious and fail -- miserably.

He sits back down at the edge of that bed and wait for you to come back around. ]

[ He slips off and dresses down as quickly as possible. He can feel the anxiety radiating off of you, and see it pretty clearly. There's no need to prolong the agony.

Coming around promptly once he's done, and sitting down beside you. Then, without even missing a beat, he's reaching out, catching you with just one hand to the side of your face, and kissing you.

You're both okay. He's going to show you as much. ]

[ You draw him close, press your lips to his, and it's like all the mess of nerves that's been stacking up all day begins to dissipate. There's a relieved sigh against your mouth as his hand covers yours and he leans into you like you're the first breath of fresh air that he's had in a while.

Give him a bit, he's at a loss for words and just really needs to bask in your solid presence. ]

Sorry.

[ Softly, all downcast eyes, guilt and just a twinge of anxiety. ]

I needed some time. Things have kind of been happening one after another lately, so...

[ It doesn't excuse his behavior, at least in his opinion. ]

[ Brianna's words are coming back to him, how it's this place more than anything else that makes you uneasy. ]

Hey, [ reaching over to tip your eyes up to his at that. ] I was just worried. It's a thing I do because I love you and I want to be good for you.

[ Couple that with feeling out of his depth and he ends up wringing his hands because he should have known and been better -- in his eyes, at least.

Soft now, and apologetic: ] You shouldn't have to worry too much about us. But then, that'd be like asking the sun not to shine.

[ Laughing a bit at that. That smile of his comes around much easier now. ]

"Too much" is pretty relative, don't you think?

[ He's... going to try to leave it at that. He has a lot of feelings on the matter, okay? ]

[ And he won't press. Not yet. He'd like to think that you'll eventually open up to him. You have, before. He just needs to be patient. ]

It is. [ Smoothing the back of his fingers over your cheek now. ] But we'll figure it out.

[ A beat. ]

I'd like to think that the Hounds are a lot tougher than most people think.

You are. I'll give you all that.

[ A beat, and then, a little lighter: ]

And sometimes, it's precisely because you're a tough lot that you can be such a headache.

[ One he'll ride through any day, but he doesn't need to incriminate himself any further with you, does he? ]

[ No, you don't. And that makes him smile faintly just before he leans in to press his lips to yours; palm cupping your cheek with the hesitant sort of gentleness that he usually defaults to when he feels the need to touch you with utmost care. ]

I love you.

[ He knows that he says that often, and sometimes, when words fail him, he does so because they are a truth he can't deny and he hopes that the way he says it articulates best what he isn't capable of wording right.

He's said enough as they simple mean: that his heart beats a particular rhythm only for you. Or as a reassurance that you are loved, and even to encompass everything that he loves about you -- as a friend, as someone he respects and admires and looks up to; as his first in so many things -- and now as someone he plans to fight to spend every last second of this life with.

His other hand is taking yours now -- the one with that ring on your finger no less. ]

[ And every single time you do that, he ends up watching you and realizing that he is looking at what will be a good amount of his life for this cycle: you, how he feels for you, and the promise you've made, just as he has made his own promise to you. It won't be too long, especially when he stops and considers just how many more cycles he still has to go, but - as you put it - at least you would have both had each other.

He never forgets anything, and you will, without a doubt, your relationship with him will stand out for him above and beyond anyone and anything else. ]

I can't believe that I'm actually saying this, but... we should probably figure out what our plans are.

[ You know. For the wedding, and other things. ]

[ That's a hand smoothing up the length of your arm and up to where his fingers can tangle a little around the strands of your long hair.

You'll probably catch the musing look in his eyes. He won't say anything yet, about how he really likes this look on you. Truth be told, he'd like to, but things have been so unsteady here in Arcadia for you that he isn't quite sure how you'll take it.

Eyes flicking up to yours though: ] Only if you're up for it.

[ His words are gentle, patient. You have time. It's not much in the grand scheme of things, but it's something you both have if neither of you fixate on just how short it'll be in comparison to the more long-lived of your common friends. ]

And you know me. [ Have that particular smile that only ever comes out for you. ] I'm a simple guy, Hikaru. Whatever you want, I want.

[ Lifting an eyebrow at that, and then, light and teasing: ]

Be careful about making promises like that. [ Turning his palm up after giving your hand a squeeze, and reaching out to skim his fingers through the hair just around your earlobe. ] I might just ask for some pretty crazy things.

[ Are you sure you're prepared for that? Are you sure??? ]

[ And because he's so earnest and so utterly gone on you: ]

As long as you don't ask me to ever leave you, I think I'm pretty sure that there's nothing you can't ask for that I won't try to give.

[ That sir, is the honest truth of it. ]

[ He's just going to kiss you now, you big dork. Because he's tenacious, however... ]

Seriously, though. You must have some preferences.

[ Yes, this discussion is happening. ]

[ You can't be serious.

You're serious.

Huh. ]

I guess... [ okay, he's a bit at a loss at the moment because ] I guess, I have more questions than preferences right now.

[ That makes sense. Nodding at that, and then - after a moment's thought - shifting about in order to stretch out and set his head on your lap.

Might as well get comfortable. This could take a while. ]

Ask away?

[ There's a momentary flutter in his chest when you do that, and it has everything to do with how that one concrete gesture settles it for him: you're both going to be okay.

Indulge him a bit as he smiles down at you, runs his fingers through your hair and leans down to press his lips to your brow.

Okay, there. ] Well, for one... I suppose I'm wondering what kind of wedding ours'll be.

[ The Fukuzawas are kind of as Japanese as most people come. And for all your worldly experience, Mr. Shinta, they are your family this cycle around. ]

I mean... [ how to put it, hm ] My birth certificate says I'm Catholic, and it kind of occurred to me that I have no idea if you are or aren't but--

[ A helpless look your way now. ]

[ His lips quirk in that tell-tale "I am trying not to laugh or smile any wider than I already am" sort of way. ]

Technically speaking, I could marry us in Church.

[ Because he is kind of a Brother in Violence, yanno. ]

[ He has only one answer to that, and he'll deliver it with a smile that looks just like this: ]

No.

[ Laughs. ]

Just checking. It MIGHT just be easier, though, since I have a strong feeling that we could end up having several people wanting to preside over the ceremony.

[ As things stand, Aidan already dropped some hints earlier... ]

And I suppose it goes without saying that I'd like a Church wedding. We might have to have a Shinto ceremony too, though, and a ceremony down here according to this realm's customs. [ Looking apologetic now. ] We can work the logistics out for all of that.

[ Wait-- ]

What.

[ It's not that he actually minds. It's just that he knows very little about these things and he admittedly didn't think too far after getting you to say "yes".

But then again, that's why he won't mind you elaborating on it, right? ]

So wait, because I don't want to think too hard on a wedding in Arcadia just yet -- but when you say Church wedding and Shinto ceremony... [ a beat ] y-you want two?

[ Just, you know, clarifying here. ]

003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

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