[ She's smoking a cigarette with all intents of turning in for the night when her phone buzzes on the table by her bedside. Suffice to say, the name above the single-word message is enough to snap her awake. It's a rare thing, after all, for her and Tohru to communicate -- but when they do reach out, it is because of the boy who was once much like an older brother, and then a younger brother, and in most recent years since, a surrogate son.
The music is a throb beneath her bare feet, but it's buffered enough by the stairs and the hall that even if they stay out here, it will be easy to talk.
Sitting down now, legs folded as she reaches out to gently stroke the tips of her fingers along the hair curving along his ear. ]
You want to go inside?
[ When Rethe had first called her, asking if she had a moment to talk before proceeding to recount the incident at the Great Hall, she'd stayed up late enough to wait for the texts that never came. By the end of the first week, she'd begun to worry, but knowing his habits, and doing a bit of snooping around herself, she let the silence lie.
[The only response that she ends up getting - or, more like, seeing - is the way Hikaru's shoulders shake just once before he's unfolding, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, and very quietly burying his face into her chest. It's almost like the one thing he wants to do his hide away somewhere, and disappear while he's at it.
[ She freezes at first -- but only because the move has no precedent, and because it has been a very, very long time since either of her children have been just like this.
Squeezing back tight now, arms firm around him, hands steady where they fall.
Okay. Someone clearly left out more than a handful of details.
Softly shushing him now, shifting closer so that what little space left is bridged and he can lean into her as much as he needs. ] What happened?
[He shouldn't be this goddamned grateful to have somebody - this one, in particular - to fall apart with. This isn't good for him. This really fucking isn't.
No words, still: he's incapable of them. As such, there's just another quiet tremble, and a vehement shake of his head.
Even if there were words for this, where could he even begin?]
[ Settling back to holding him then. He clearly needed time, for whatever it was that had sent him running to her like this. And there could only be a handful of things that could shake the Blade King like this.
Actually no. Just one.
And following that thought, and remembering that it had been Rethe who had delivered the news... oh.
Resting her cheek atop his head now, one hand smoothing a path up and down Hikaru's spine. ]
Did you have a fight with Josh?
[ She was fond of all the War Hounds, having watched them carve out a path similar to those she had stood proud alongside. But Joshua LaRue had warranted special -- if distant -- attention. ]
...Okay. It was a bad idea to even start thinking about that, because it led into that one horrible morning where all of his instincts had failed him, into that encounter at the club, what had even gotten them started on those fucking club runs in the first place, and...
[And if you thought that in any point of your relationship with the Blade King, you had believed that you had seen him at his worst...
Well. Let's just say that this kind of 'wrecked' has never, ever happened before. It's so bad, in fact, that he barely manages to last a second before his gaze is flinching away, before he's shutting his eyes for longer than a blink and dropping his forehead down on your shoulder.
There have been far too many missed opportunities coupled with far too many moves in the wrong direction, and no one and nothing to turn to.]
I -- [Choking up now. Breathe in deep; don't kill yourself with air, kid.] I don't... I don't know what to do anymore.
[He didn't want to lose this one, yet he didn't want to end up ruining yet another person that he cared far too much about just by being himself. He didn't want to have to keep giving in, yet he didn't want to be left, once again, with nothing to hold on to.]
[ And seeing that, a smile. Because as wrecked as he looks now, this is actually a good thing. It is a really, really good thing, as far as she is concerned.
Giving him a moment, watching, observing and then after finally studying the weight of his breathing and how tightly he was holding on: a long hug. One that, it seems, is sorely needed. And long delayed. ]
If you're scared that you're going to lose him, you're giving Josh and yourself too little credit, hon.
[ Tugging him upright now, hands on either upper arm and offering him a kind and understanding smile. ] Hey. Hey, look at me.
[And he's letting her do this because all of the fight has been perfectly and systematically wrenched out of him. He's relenting now and following, because he trusts this one a hell of a lot more than he trusts himself.]
[ There. Good. Cupping that chin now, firm and steady. ]
I am going to tell you something that a man I greatly respect told me once, when I was beating myself up over the idiot sleeping soundly in my bedroom.
[ A knowing pause, and then, gently: ] You should talk to him.
[There's a moment of genuine surprise, and then a helpless laugh, and a broken little smile. Both of them inevitably fade away, into a distinct, painful twist of his lips.]
[ She is familiar with that, and she knows the words that he ends up saying even before they leave his lips.
It makes her sad. This is bringing back memories of another time, in this very club. And while it's not quite history repeating itself, it is close enough.
Reaching out now to take one of his hands in her own. ] Color me biased, but... [ a deliberate pause ] Hikaru, there is no one better for this boy, than you.
[ The chances of him believing it are slim, but she has to try, because this one seems utterly unable to consider even the thought of trying right this very moment.
A sigh; contemplative now -- should she? Maybe not...
No. No, she will.
Slipping out her pack now, and handing him a stick and her lighter. ] Maybe I'm just a meddling mother, but, [ a small smile. ] I've seen you two together. He thinks the world of you.
[That is, simultaneously, the most relieving, wonderful, terrible and painful thing to hear for him. That is probably why he can't quite respond beyond taking the stick and bringing it to his lips.
Damned lighters. So hard to use when you're totally fucked up.
One drag in, and he's leaning back, setting his head against the wall. Two drags, and he's shutting his eyes. Three, and he's staring past Cisco and looking significantly better. Not good: not yet. Just better.
[ Have a kiss on your forehead, Hikaru. And a gentle squeeze on the knee. ]
That, Mr. Shinta-- [ have a Look; an encouraging one ] --is entirely up to the two of you.
[ Lighting up her own stick now, breathing in and exhaling with closed eyes and a happy sigh.
Cracking one open at you now. ] He is very, very cute, you know. But then again, you always did have excellent taste. [ And not giving you any more time to brood over that ( because she knows that you probably will, ) patting your knee and standing up, with all fluid grace that she's kept all these years. ] Come on. I have ramen inside, I think. [ She totally does. Just for the rare instance that he drops on by. ]
[ The ramen is cooking now, so she's just going to saunter over and shelve the Mom Card for the Big Sister Card instead.
Because, lol. Really, Hikaru? She might not be as experienced with your tells as some of the others, but your quailing is a dead ringer for maybe something happened. ]
Well. Was he good? [ Her tone is neutral... ish. So presume whatever you like with regard to the direction her mind is going. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
icarusalsoflew) wrote2014-02-26 02:34 am
aw bb :c
The music is a throb beneath her bare feet, but it's buffered enough by the stairs and the hall that even if they stay out here, it will be easy to talk.
Sitting down now, legs folded as she reaches out to gently stroke the tips of her fingers along the hair curving along his ear. ]
You want to go inside?
[ When Rethe had first called her, asking if she had a moment to talk before proceeding to recount the incident at the Great Hall, she'd stayed up late enough to wait for the texts that never came. By the end of the first week, she'd begun to worry, but knowing his habits, and doing a bit of snooping around herself, she let the silence lie.
What mattered was that he was here now. ]
Hikaru. Sweetheart, come on. Let's go inside.
composure fucking gone, lol
Why the fucking hell was this so hard?]
O U C H
Squeezing back tight now, arms firm around him, hands steady where they fall.
Okay. Someone clearly left out more than a handful of details.
Softly shushing him now, shifting closer so that what little space left is bridged and he can lean into her as much as he needs. ] What happened?
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No words, still: he's incapable of them. As such, there's just another quiet tremble, and a vehement shake of his head.
Even if there were words for this, where could he even begin?]
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Actually no. Just one.
And following that thought, and remembering that it had been Rethe who had delivered the news... oh.
Resting her cheek atop his head now, one hand smoothing a path up and down Hikaru's spine. ]
Did you have a fight with Josh?
[ She was fond of all the War Hounds, having watched them carve out a path similar to those she had stood proud alongside. But Joshua LaRue had warranted special -- if distant -- attention. ]
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...Okay. It was a bad idea to even start thinking about that, because it led into that one horrible morning where all of his instincts had failed him, into that encounter at the club, what had even gotten them started on those fucking club runs in the first place, and...
And.
Have a quiet sob from Hikaru's end, Cisco.]
I guess.
[His voice is very, very small right now.]
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You guess?
[ And the look in her eyes is simple, and he would know it. They know each other fairly well.
Oh, Hikaru. How bad? How far? ]
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Well. Let's just say that this kind of 'wrecked' has never, ever happened before. It's so bad, in fact, that he barely manages to last a second before his gaze is flinching away, before he's shutting his eyes for longer than a blink and dropping his forehead down on your shoulder.
There have been far too many missed opportunities coupled with far too many moves in the wrong direction, and no one and nothing to turn to.]
I -- [Choking up now. Breathe in deep; don't kill yourself with air, kid.] I don't... I don't know what to do anymore.
[He didn't want to lose this one, yet he didn't want to end up ruining yet another person that he cared far too much about just by being himself. He didn't want to have to keep giving in, yet he didn't want to be left, once again, with nothing to hold on to.]
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Giving him a moment, watching, observing and then after finally studying the weight of his breathing and how tightly he was holding on: a long hug. One that, it seems, is sorely needed. And long delayed. ]
If you're scared that you're going to lose him, you're giving Josh and yourself too little credit, hon.
[ Tugging him upright now, hands on either upper arm and offering him a kind and understanding smile. ] Hey. Hey, look at me.
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Mm?
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I am going to tell you something that a man I greatly respect told me once, when I was beating myself up over the idiot sleeping soundly in my bedroom.
[ A knowing pause, and then, gently: ] You should talk to him.
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He deserves someone much, much better than me.
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It makes her sad. This is bringing back memories of another time, in this very club. And while it's not quite history repeating itself, it is close enough.
Reaching out now to take one of his hands in her own. ] Color me biased, but... [ a deliberate pause ] Hikaru, there is no one better for this boy, than you.
[ The chances of him believing it are slim, but she has to try, because this one seems utterly unable to consider even the thought of trying right this very moment.
A sigh; contemplative now -- should she? Maybe not...
No. No, she will.
Slipping out her pack now, and handing him a stick and her lighter. ] Maybe I'm just a meddling mother, but, [ a small smile. ] I've seen you two together. He thinks the world of you.
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Damned lighters. So hard to use when you're totally fucked up.
One drag in, and he's leaning back, setting his head against the wall. Two drags, and he's shutting his eyes. Three, and he's staring past Cisco and looking significantly better. Not good: not yet. Just better.
After the fourth:]
Do you really think we could...?
[He can't even say it.]
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That, Mr. Shinta-- [ have a Look; an encouraging one ] --is entirely up to the two of you.
[ Lighting up her own stick now, breathing in and exhaling with closed eyes and a happy sigh.
Cracking one open at you now. ] He is very, very cute, you know. But then again, you always did have excellent taste. [ And not giving you any more time to brood over that ( because she knows that you probably will, ) patting your knee and standing up, with all fluid grace that she's kept all these years. ] Come on. I have ramen inside, I think. [ She totally does. Just for the rare instance that he drops on by. ]
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[He did wonder, though, at his ability to keep any food down. He's been so completely and utterly miserable lately, it's been hard to do anything...
...Including standing up. Right. Let's try that again.
Better. Following her now, without another word.]
i wasn't sure if we were done but i wanted more so tag :c
Ramen, ramen, ramen... oh. There! Fixing him up a bowl now, glancing up every so often. ] So, what was the fight about?
[ Because you know, Hikaru. You never really explained? And what Rethe had to share from his perspective has her intrigued. ]
i am okay with this. ♥
Well.
That.
Freezing, just so. Getting an impression that is a couple of shades away from deer in headlights.]
It was my fault, really.
[Hedging...]
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It sums up so much in just one word: Really? ]
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[A little insistent now, as he's looking up at her. He really, really believes it was.]
I mean, I didn't have to, but I...
[Choking up again. Goddamnit.]
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Did you... [ she's not presuming anything.
But she has seen the way you look at each other when one thinks that the other isn't looking. ]
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Not quite ready to say it out loud. Nope.]
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Because, lol. Really, Hikaru? She might not be as experienced with your tells as some of the others, but your quailing is a dead ringer for maybe something happened. ]
Well. Was he good? [ Her tone is neutral... ish. So presume whatever you like with regard to the direction her mind is going. ]
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[That's said with just a hint of disgruntlement, a lot of upset, and also delivered way too softly.]
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Did you maybe... want it to go that far?
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crey i am sorry cisco
lololol