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[icarusalsoflew]

“ dream a little bigger, love. ” [ TEXT | VOICE | VIDEO ]

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[voicemail]

[tiptoeing]

[It's late at night, somewhere around 3 a.m. Bruce's voice sounds tight, as if he's having trouble breathing properly. He's trying to keep the lingering sense of anxiety at bay, but it's not working particularly well.]

Hikaru? You said...you said I could call if I needed...but it's too late, you're probably asleep and I shouldn't be bothering you. I'm sorry, I'll just...

[and the message ends as he hangs up]

bruce T_T

[icarusalsoflew]

[ Nope he's still up.

Calling you now. ]

<3

[tiptoeing]

[He almost doesn't pick up at first, too startled that he called him back so soon. But then he does, taking a deep breath.]

...Hi. Sorry about that, I'd just woken up. I'll be okay.

[It's not a very convincing lie.]

[icarusalsoflew]

[ Not at all. ]

Where are you?

[ There's the sound of him walking. Seems like he wasn't actually home. ]

[tiptoeing]

[quietly] My apartment. It's near where we saw the fireworks; I'll text you the address. Do you want some tea?

[icarusalsoflew]

Sure. Stay on the phone? I'll be there soon.

[ He'll just... leap a couple of buildings.

It won't sound like he is, he's good at this. ]

[tiptoeing]

All right. I'm still here, just multitasking. [Making tea helps him focus on something, at least.]

What are you doing up so late? If you don't mind me asking.

[icarusalsoflew]

Oh, just -- [ getting shot at ] -- walking around town.

[ And that reminds him. Willing a bit of that blood of his to stop up the wounds. Good thing he's wearing dark clothes this time around. ]

Police stuff.

[tiptoeing]

[He's a little tiny bit suspicious.] What kind of police stuff?

[icarusalsoflew]

[ There was this small gang that was attempting to set up a child pornography ring. Operative words: "attempting to". They'll probably have a hard time of it now since their heads have been released from their bodies.

Ahem. ]

I was chasing down a difficult lead for the force. Managed to resolve it well, though.

[ Which pleases him. ]

[tiptoeing]

Well that's a plus, at least. Are you okay? Do I need to have a first aid kit ready too?

[He's more concerned about his friend's well-being than whatever crime he was dealing with, since that's been resolved.]

[icarusalsoflew]

I'm fine, but if you think you need something to do with your hands...

[ Warm, gentle, a little teasing. ]

[tiptoeing]

My hands are fine, thank you, but I'm looking you over anyway for my own peace of mind if nothing else. [No getting out of it, buddy, no matter how cute or indestructible you are.]

I hope you like chai. This is a traditional masala chai recipe from India.

[icarusalsoflew]

Okay. And I do like chai.

[ Hum! ]

Found your building. I'll take the stairs.

[tiptoeing]

Good. Door's unlocked, so just let yourself in. [Bruce doesn't actually feel the need to protect himself against. Well. Anything.

When Hikaru lets himself in, he'll find that Bruce's apartment is sparsely decorated, but cozy. Shelves of books, a comfy couch, and some well-maintained plants, including a few bonsai. There's also a fluffy black lab puppy, who is waiting by the door, and a tabby cat who's busy "hunting" birds at the window.

Bruce is coming out of the kitchen with two steaming cups of chai, still in his regular clothes, which suggests being asleep was probably the result of passing out while doing some work.]

[icarusalsoflew]

[ The puppy gets a bright smile and a quick head rub, the cat gets a glance, and then Hikaru's marching right over to Bruce as he shuts his phone.

Peering at him with all the concern now, and doing that usual thing he does whenever he catches Bruce fresh from falling asleep while working and whatnot: a critical once over to take in the damage.

Nope, no greeting yet. ]

[tiptoeing]

[Bruce is quiet when Hikaru gives him his usual once-over, not quite knowing how to react to the amount of concern there. Any visible effects of it are behind his eyes; subtle flickers of fear and sadness and the consistent anger that's directed at himself more than anyone else.

Wordlessly he hands him the cup of chai, setting his own down on a coffee table near the couch while it cools. Admittedly he's giving Hikaru a little once-over himself, making sure there's nothing that needs immediate attention.]

[icarusalsoflew]

[ For all intents and purposes, Dr. Banner, your colleague looks perfectly fine. A little flushed from exertion (you go out, you fight, you take some bullets, you fight some more: it happens), but perfectly fine.

Anyway, he'll take that cup. ]

Hi. [ A beat. ] Let's sit down?

[tiptoeing]

All right.

[Bruce takes a seat on the couch, gesturing for Hikaru to sit next to him. He fiddles with his hands, a nervous habit he hasn't been able to break. He's not sure what to say; he's not used to having someone around after waking up like that.]

[icarusalsoflew]

[ And he will. He even scoots over a little closer, and reaches out to wrap one hand gently around Bruce's wrist. Simple contact is good, right? ]

You don't have to say anything.

[ He likes Bruce a lot, and is here for him. Whatever the man needs to do to feel comfortable is what he's willing to do too. ]

[tiptoeing]

[When Hikaru places his hand on his wrist, Bruce shifts his hand up a little, lacing his fingers with Hikaru's. He just sits like that for awhile, eventually leaning against him, while sipping his tea.

When he feels calm enough, he finally speaks.]

I wasn't able to achieve my incentive here. Things were back to normal in my own world, and I lost control again.

[icarusalsoflew]

[ And he'll take to holding tight to that hand, and also stretching out an arm, circling your shoulders, drawing Bruce closer. ]

That's what you dreamt about, huh?

[ What a demon that is, indeed. ]

[tiptoeing]

[Bruce nods, then rests his head against Hikaru's shoulder.]

This is the kind of nightmare I usually have. Sometimes it's a memory of something that's actually happened, sometimes it's just what I fear will happen. Different contexts, different people, or places, but...I always inevitably hurt someone. Sometimes people I care about. Sometimes as the Hulk, sometimes as myself. The lines are even fuzzier in my dreams.

[icarusalsoflew]

[ He shifts the hand that's close to Bruce's head, stroking the older man's hair gently as he talks, keeping his eyes on his face.

He knows what it's like to have dreams like that. His haven't quite stopped. (And it's a constant fear, because once you've felt the weight of a life ending - its blood on your hands, its light killed by your shadow - it never leaves your shoulders.) ]

I'm not going to say that one day, you won't end up doing any of that. But I will say that that if or when it happens, it's going to suck, and it's going to break you. But eventually it will be all right.

[ Tilting his head, smiling and trying to catch the other man's eyes. ]

Baby steps, yeah? Because there's nothing else to be done but move forward and try each time.

[ One "monster" to another. ]

[tiptoeing]

[Bruce relaxes into the touch, his eyes softening a little as Hikaru strokes his hair. It feels nice, and when he glances up at him, he's suddenly very aware of how close they are. And how much he doesn't mind. He sighs though, at his friend's words.]

It's already happened. On more than one occasion. Even the times when it was on purpose, when I was trying to save people, I still caused so much destruction in the process. If it's triggered again...I don't know how I'll cope.