icarusalsoflew | eudio

Oh, just -- [ getting shot at ] -- walking around town.

[ And that reminds him. Willing a bit of that blood of his to stop up the wounds. Good thing he's wearing dark clothes this time around. ]

Police stuff.

[He's a little tiny bit suspicious.] What kind of police stuff?

[ There was this small gang that was attempting to set up a child pornography ring. Operative words: "attempting to". They'll probably have a hard time of it now since their heads have been released from their bodies.

Ahem. ]

I was chasing down a difficult lead for the force. Managed to resolve it well, though.

[ Which pleases him. ]

Well that's a plus, at least. Are you okay? Do I need to have a first aid kit ready too?

[He's more concerned about his friend's well-being than whatever crime he was dealing with, since that's been resolved.]

I'm fine, but if you think you need something to do with your hands...

[ Warm, gentle, a little teasing. ]

My hands are fine, thank you, but I'm looking you over anyway for my own peace of mind if nothing else. [No getting out of it, buddy, no matter how cute or indestructible you are.]

I hope you like chai. This is a traditional masala chai recipe from India.

Okay. And I do like chai.

[ Hum! ]

Found your building. I'll take the stairs.

Good. Door's unlocked, so just let yourself in. [Bruce doesn't actually feel the need to protect himself against. Well. Anything.

When Hikaru lets himself in, he'll find that Bruce's apartment is sparsely decorated, but cozy. Shelves of books, a comfy couch, and some well-maintained plants, including a few bonsai. There's also a fluffy black lab puppy, who is waiting by the door, and a tabby cat who's busy "hunting" birds at the window.

Bruce is coming out of the kitchen with two steaming cups of chai, still in his regular clothes, which suggests being asleep was probably the result of passing out while doing some work.]

[ The puppy gets a bright smile and a quick head rub, the cat gets a glance, and then Hikaru's marching right over to Bruce as he shuts his phone.

Peering at him with all the concern now, and doing that usual thing he does whenever he catches Bruce fresh from falling asleep while working and whatnot: a critical once over to take in the damage.

Nope, no greeting yet. ]

[Bruce is quiet when Hikaru gives him his usual once-over, not quite knowing how to react to the amount of concern there. Any visible effects of it are behind his eyes; subtle flickers of fear and sadness and the consistent anger that's directed at himself more than anyone else.

Wordlessly he hands him the cup of chai, setting his own down on a coffee table near the couch while it cools. Admittedly he's giving Hikaru a little once-over himself, making sure there's nothing that needs immediate attention.]

[ For all intents and purposes, Dr. Banner, your colleague looks perfectly fine. A little flushed from exertion (you go out, you fight, you take some bullets, you fight some more: it happens), but perfectly fine.

Anyway, he'll take that cup. ]

Hi. [ A beat. ] Let's sit down?

All right.

[Bruce takes a seat on the couch, gesturing for Hikaru to sit next to him. He fiddles with his hands, a nervous habit he hasn't been able to break. He's not sure what to say; he's not used to having someone around after waking up like that.]

[ And he will. He even scoots over a little closer, and reaches out to wrap one hand gently around Bruce's wrist. Simple contact is good, right? ]

You don't have to say anything.

[ He likes Bruce a lot, and is here for him. Whatever the man needs to do to feel comfortable is what he's willing to do too. ]

[When Hikaru places his hand on his wrist, Bruce shifts his hand up a little, lacing his fingers with Hikaru's. He just sits like that for awhile, eventually leaning against him, while sipping his tea.

When he feels calm enough, he finally speaks.]

I wasn't able to achieve my incentive here. Things were back to normal in my own world, and I lost control again.

Edited 2015-08-05 13:13 (UTC)

[ And he'll take to holding tight to that hand, and also stretching out an arm, circling your shoulders, drawing Bruce closer. ]

That's what you dreamt about, huh?

[ What a demon that is, indeed. ]

[Bruce nods, then rests his head against Hikaru's shoulder.]

This is the kind of nightmare I usually have. Sometimes it's a memory of something that's actually happened, sometimes it's just what I fear will happen. Different contexts, different people, or places, but...I always inevitably hurt someone. Sometimes people I care about. Sometimes as the Hulk, sometimes as myself. The lines are even fuzzier in my dreams.

[ He shifts the hand that's close to Bruce's head, stroking the older man's hair gently as he talks, keeping his eyes on his face.

He knows what it's like to have dreams like that. His haven't quite stopped. (And it's a constant fear, because once you've felt the weight of a life ending - its blood on your hands, its light killed by your shadow - it never leaves your shoulders.) ]

I'm not going to say that one day, you won't end up doing any of that. But I will say that that if or when it happens, it's going to suck, and it's going to break you. But eventually it will be all right.

[ Tilting his head, smiling and trying to catch the other man's eyes. ]

Baby steps, yeah? Because there's nothing else to be done but move forward and try each time.

[ One "monster" to another. ]

Edited (PAM'S GOING TO STOP EDITING NOW YES...) 2015-08-05 14:25 (UTC)

[Bruce relaxes into the touch, his eyes softening a little as Hikaru strokes his hair. It feels nice, and when he glances up at him, he's suddenly very aware of how close they are. And how much he doesn't mind. He sighs though, at his friend's words.]

It's already happened. On more than one occasion. Even the times when it was on purpose, when I was trying to save people, I still caused so much destruction in the process. If it's triggered again...I don't know how I'll cope.

You'll cope when it happens. You're still with me, and you're still capable of being scared of yourself. You still care.

[ That was plenty. ]

Everything will work out. You'll only get better with time.

[Bruce gives him a faint smile.] I never thought of it that way. But yes, I do.

When I discovered there was no cure, and hit a particularly low point in my life, that was when I went to Kolkata. To provide medical assistance to those who couldn't afford a proper doctor. Because I wanted to focus on doing some good, to balance out...well, me.

That was when Natasha came to me for help on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D. They'd been keeping various interested parties off my back, particularly the military.

Edited (typooo) 2015-08-09 17:27 (UTC)

[ There are dark thoughts crossing his mind, quick and brutal. Institutions existed for a reason, yes, but they could also be troublesome and hardly trustworthy.

He knows what it's like, being monitored, being hunted. To hear of the experiences of those he cares about always gets him a little angry.

But now is not the time, and they are safe here. That's what matters, for now. So he'll remain quiet and attentive, keen on listening to everything that Bruce has - or needs - to say. ]

[Bruce appreciates that Hikaru is willing to listen. He's still not really used to talking about himself or his experiences, and sometimes it shows.]

I lost control on the Helicarrier --sort of a giant aircraft with cloaking capabilities-- and hurt a lot of people, under Loki's influence. But I didn't run away that time. I went to where I knew I was needed, to the team, even in my disoriented state. Losing control like that does a number on my sense of self. But I knew that I had to help people.

[This is how much he still cares, is what he's trying to say.]

From what I know about you and what I know about your team, I can say that you've been doing the best that you can at that.

[ He gives Bruce's shoulder's a squeeze. ]

Your heart's in the right place. That counts for something, right along with all of your effort.

[Bruce's smile widens when Hikaru squeezes his shoulders. The years he spent alone, on the run, and even the past couple of years in Manhattan, trying not to get too close to anyone, have made him crave this kind of affection in ways he doesn't even consciously realize.]

I'll take your word for it. [there's a pause] Not because I'm just saying that, but because you understand it, probably better than I do.

[He sighs, shifting a little against Hikaru, but only to get slightly more comfortable.] I almost feel like I could go back to sleep, but I'm not sure I want to try.

I just know what I know.

[ On that last bit, though... ]

Would you like me to stay and keep you company?

[ He had offered before. That has never changed. ]

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