icarusalsoflew | eudio

[ Yep, it sure did take a while for this response to come in. ]

Sorry about that. Thank you.

[ What else can he say, really? He could tell her all about every single other relationship that's gone up in smoke. He could tell her about the things he's done. He could push her away if he really wanted to.

(There's the rub. Does he want to?) ]

I had this weird impression that you were highly intelligent and that was one of the things I liked about you - what's this nonsense about 'not the best person'?

Hit yourself over the head with your phone right now. In my name, do it.

Can I settle for buying you nice things instead?

NO? That's hardly educational.

[This one takes a while to come, if only by virtue of being a long message. Or maybe it's that she writes and rewrites it three times, and sits on sending it all of thirty-three seconds.]

Hikaru.
You are one of the best people I have met here. Regardless of what you do in your world, both you and Josh have shown me nothing but kindness and compassion and those are not traits of a bad person. I'm good at recognizing the creeps out of the crowd, which neither of you are.
I think anyone should be so lucky to have you as part of their lives.
And look, Josh is - and does - so you must do something right? I don't know where the wave of insecurity comes from, but it's not like you. I think.
No, I know.

[ Full disclosure: he thought that the delay in your response was because you might have actually given up on this conversation.

He is a lot more relieved than he can express, or even want to let on. Yep. ]

You're right. Sorry about that. I guess I'm still adjusting to being in Eudio after all.

No, really. What's wrong?
You don't have to tell me why, if you don't want to, but - I'm good at listening, too.

Just a lot of things and people have been reminding me of some of the issues that I don't really get to think much about or deal with back home. Does that make sense?

[ Then, in an immediate follow up message: ]

I know it's kind of late, but can I call?

[ He's actually stepped out unto the balcony of the apartment that he shares with Josh - or, more accurately, the balcony in the other apartment, which functions more like storage to them than anything else at the moment. Josh is asleep, and the kitten's curled up close to him. ]

[Does it make sense to have lingering issues she hasn't thought about, or talked to anyone about since here? Yes.]

You can.

[She's not any close to going to sleep, anyway.]

[ And he's almost immediately regretting his life decisions, but...

Here goes nothing. Your phone's ringing now. ]

[Quietly,] Hi.

Hi.

[ There's a bit of a pause, then a soft laugh. ]

This escalated quickly.

I thinkg it's my secret gift to bring the jokes to a sudden stop. [A little pause on her end, too; on her side of the phone, she's biting her lip.]

Sorry. Are you okay?

I've been better.

[ There: Josh would be proud of him. He didn't default, automatically, to "I'm fine". ]

It's just that I do worry, you know? About Josh. He's really good to me.

[ And he handles Hikaru's crazy in such a perfect way, it's surreal. ]

[For what it's worth, she's proud of him for not waiting for her to ask why?]

I may have only met you here, but I can tell it's mutual.

[ That was comforting to hear. It'll show in how he lightens up just a little bit when he says: ]

I'm really happy, you know, that the two of you hit it off too.

Well, I'm the one who got lucky in terms of friends here...so...

[Yes, hit it off just well. She'll never let herself live down the fact that in her first meeting with Josh she definitely appreciated his jaw.]

Can we agree that maybe all three of us got lucky with each other?

[ Since you're pretty amazing too. ]

[A little laugh, all embarrassment.]

Alright, agreement.

Good.

[ Now here's the sound of him sitting back in his chair, bringing out his cigarettes, lighting up. ]

I hope this doesn't stir up too much shit again, but... I think I really get it. That sentiment that you'll do anything for your siblings.

[ Because that is one of the things he's been thinking back to, ever since you had them over for tea. ]

[It feels out of the blue, so it takes her a moment, before she follows with:]

You do?

Mm. Remember how I mentioned having a sister? She was - is - older than me. And she's from my very first life cycle.

[ Drag, exhale. ]

At the end of it all, I think you can safely say that I ended up like this because I wanted to keep her safe.

For people who know that every deal has smallprint, there's nothing keeping us from making one if it's about family...

[A pause.] What's her name?

Setsuna. She died sometime back, and became something else. That something else prevents her from really being around for me or any of the other people who care about her a lot.

[Became something else is the part that scares her the most. The idea that it could happen to Jamie -- but it won't, because she's here. Taking this deal, for her brother. The parallels aren't lost on her, really.

Quietly,] Did she became that something because of something...you did?

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