[ Nodding at that, the relief evident in the way his gaze softens as your eyes meet his before he steps close, bridging what little space there is between you two to press a kiss against your brow.
Make the most of the time you have, that's what his father had told him and he's going to take those words to heart.
Stepping back now and tugging you with him as he does: ] Let's go sit down.
[He's letting you pull him over, and only lets go of your hand once he's properly inside his own room. Now he's taking some time out to strip down to just the tank top he was wearing underneath the mangeyko and the shirt he had on.
The boots come off later, once he's sunk down on one side of the bed. The accumulated fatigue from all of the activity, the emotion and the stress has left their marks on him.]
[ He's turning his palm up to thread fingers through your own at that, his free hand catching you by the cheek to turn your face back to his.
The kiss he slants over your lips is warm and slow; his eyes, you'll note, mostly stay open, the look in them so full of you, lids fluttering shut only briefly whenever he deepens the kiss.
You asked him to say whatever he wanted to say and because words are failing Josh now, this will have to do. ]
[ And Josh is smiling back. It's nice to know that things seem to be getting better between you both. ]
We don't have to talk about... [ gaze sliding towards where he'd set the dossier down now, before he turns his eyes back to Hikaru's. ] But I'd like to. Eventually.
[There's no reluctance there, but there might be a little bit of resignation. He knows, though, that by sunrise? He's going to want to talk even less than he does now. He also wants to do what he can to make sure that he and Josh stay on the same page.
It's been hard, constantly missing each other. He's not sure whether he can take another hit right now, especially since it seems as though this one is one of the only things he has left to fall back on.]
[All of that brings the smile back on his face, and he quietly obeys by settling down right beside you, and. Well. Right up against your body.
Your smell is familiar to him, and is rapidly becoming a source of comfort in a crazy time like this. He's probably never going to tell you that, though. It'll be written in the way he stays close whenever you're both alone like this.]
[ He's turning his head towards you at that, pressing his lips into your hair and shutting his eyes as he breathes you in. He's always been the kind of person that best expressed himself through touch and little gestures of affection and comfort.
He hums a low response. ] You've had a pretty long life.
[ Because he can't think about you dying. He won't. Not after the last couple of days, not if he doesn't have to. ]
[The way you've chosen to word your sentence makes him smile, and curl up a little closer against you in a remarkably feline fashion. Kalika did tell him, once, that he was more cat than wolf.]
That works for me. [ Looking down at you now, marveling at how you just fit right up against him. ]
I'm sorry it's been so hard. [ Leaning in close and planting a quick kiss on the tip of your nose before he goes for your mouth. His hand has also come up, the thumb of that now tracing the line of your jaw. ]
[ He's quiet for what feels like a long time, his gaze searching those violet eyes. There was a section in that dossier regarding distinguishing marks and while he'd noted the odd pattern beneath the montage across your back when he'd trailed kisses across it the other night, it had never occured to him to think it was anything other than art.
He's rolling onto his side now, bringing his body flush up against your own, a hand coming around to smooth down your spine, right over that transmutation circle. ]
I'll be selfish just this once and confess that if it weren't for this, I'd've probably never met you.
[ He licks his lips before he adds: ] You're not a freak. [ He means that. Down to his very bones. ] You're one of the most generous, kind, incredible and beautiful people I've ever met.
I'm pretty sure that I can think of a good number of people who'd disagree with you on that.
[But his attempt at being witty falters a little, because it means a hell lot to hear you tell him this, even if it rebels against his deeply ingrained belief that really, he isn't necessary. He never was, never will be.]
[ And the tenderness in his eyes doesn't leave, even as something in those depths holds ground. ]
Well, whoever they are, they don't count. [ There's a gentle tug of a smile on the corner of his mouth. ] White noise, Hikaru. That's all they are.
[ What was it his mother had said--
Right.
Catching one of your hands now, passing a thumb over the lines crisscrossing on Hikaru's palm.
( How could a monster have such gentle hands? ) ]
Mom told me what you did. How you stayed and kept her company until she was more or less okay.
Anyone else would have let her be. But not you.
[ His eyes are a little misty now, and he's lifting your palm to his lips and pressing a kiss to the center of it. ] If you were unnecessary, I wouldn't have gotten her back. The world would have since gone to shit, and no one would be better off.
[ Honesty Hour. Because he needs you to hear all this. ] I stopped believing in a God that gave a shit after my mom left without a word. It helped a little when I got sick, easier to think that random, shitty things just happen because you draw the short straw.
But I'm not dead. I have my family and my boys back, I have a blade I would gladly lay myself on the line for, and people who I respect who seem to see something in me that I'm still wrapping my head around.
[ He's pinning you with an honest-to-Elaine look that shows his heart there in his eyes. ] You've had your hand in my life even before either of us ever met.
I don't believe in much by way of divine intervention, but it's a pretty sound defense for why you're relevant enough to exist.
[He's quiet throughout all of that, as he's fallen to watching your face, watching what you're doing, and absorbing the comforting weight of your presence.
It's amazing, really, the kind of effect that you have on him. He hasn't had something like this with anyone for such a long time.
This is how he thanks you for making him start to believe in that again: by shifting over, and giving you a soft and quiet kiss right on your mouth.]
I find, for once, that I can't really argue with you there.
[ That is earning you a smile from him, one filled with relief and gratefulness because he doesn't want to argue, doesn't want to be told there are holes in his logic -- just this once, he'd like to be right. ]
Good.
[ Wrapping his arms around you now and hiding his face in your chest so that he can effectively inhale your familiar scent and bask in your warmth. ]
[He stays where he is for a good long time, because he can't bother himself to do anything else for a bit beyond enjoy the closeness between you. What makes him realize, though, that he probably should go through the motions of settling down properly is the fact that he yawns before he could stop himself.
Um. Oops. Looking at you a little sheepishly before pushing himself up.]
[In that case, you'll see the way Hikaru actually has to stop to watch you for a moment in the door frame. He can't wipe the smile off of his face, even as he's finally coming around and settling down right beside you.]
Maybe we can get breakfast in bed later.
[He kind of doesn't want to have to drag himself down to the Hall. That, and he's still feeling a little out of it after that bout he had with his remuneration.]
[ And this is Josh shifting so that you can rest your head on his shoulder if you so choose.
There's an amused look that crosses his face at your suggestion -- he could do without listening to poetry from the Whisperers. ]
I am okay with this. [ He's even surprising himself with just how okay he is with it, because the thought does cross his mind that in light of the kiss he'd landed on Hikaru yesterday, some people might note his own absence from the hall.
Or not. He'd feel differently if this were Rhiannon -- but the cat's out if the proverbial bag in that respect, so why fuss over what's done? ]
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Make the most of the time you have, that's what his father had told him and he's going to take those words to heart.
Stepping back now and tugging you with him as he does: ] Let's go sit down.
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[He's letting you pull him over, and only lets go of your hand once he's properly inside his own room. Now he's taking some time out to strip down to just the tank top he was wearing underneath the mangeyko and the shirt he had on.
The boots come off later, once he's sunk down on one side of the bed. The accumulated fatigue from all of the activity, the emotion and the stress has left their marks on him.]
You didn't have to wait up for me.
[But thank you.]
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[ He's settled close enough, but he does give you room to move. The look in his eyes however, does not match the casual tone of Josh's voice.
He's quietly debating whether to ask now or let the file lie. He has questions, but for the most part, that can wait. ]
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Say what you want to say.
[Telling you that softly, as he's going for his cigarettes.]
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The kiss he slants over your lips is warm and slow; his eyes, you'll note, mostly stay open, the look in them so full of you, lids fluttering shut only briefly whenever he deepens the kiss.
You asked him to say whatever he wanted to say and because words are failing Josh now, this will have to do. ]
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He breaks away first, but keeps his forehead against yours. He's smiling in what little distance there is between both of your mouths.]
That's a nice start.
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We don't have to talk about... [ gaze sliding towards where he'd set the dossier down now, before he turns his eyes back to Hikaru's. ] But I'd like to. Eventually.
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[There's no reluctance there, but there might be a little bit of resignation. He knows, though, that by sunrise? He's going to want to talk even less than he does now. He also wants to do what he can to make sure that he and Josh stay on the same page.
It's been hard, constantly missing each other. He's not sure whether he can take another hit right now, especially since it seems as though this one is one of the only things he has left to fall back on.]
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Some conversations are best done when sitting down; others, are better left for positions that offer comfort. ] C'mere.
[ Reading that dossier had been much harder than he'd thought, given that he can still recall some of the things from the Arcanum. ]
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Your smell is familiar to him, and is rapidly becoming a source of comfort in a crazy time like this. He's probably never going to tell you that, though. It'll be written in the way he stays close whenever you're both alone like this.]
It's a pretty long file, isn't it?
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He hums a low response. ] You've had a pretty long life.
[ Because he can't think about you dying. He won't. Not after the last couple of days, not if he doesn't have to. ]
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Yeah. And it's barely begun, really.
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I'm sorry it's been so hard. [ Leaning in close and planting a quick kiss on the tip of your nose before he goes for your mouth. His hand has also come up, the thumb of that now tracing the line of your jaw. ]
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[Saying that lightly and actually meaning it, after you're both done kissing and he's blinking up at you.]
Besides, if all of this hadn't happened, I wouldn't have been able to meet so many people, or do so much.
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He's rolling onto his side now, bringing his body flush up against your own, a hand coming around to smooth down your spine, right over that transmutation circle. ]
I'll be selfish just this once and confess that if it weren't for this, I'd've probably never met you.
[ He licks his lips before he adds: ] You're not a freak. [ He means that. Down to his very bones. ] You're one of the most generous, kind, incredible and beautiful people I've ever met.
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[But his attempt at being witty falters a little, because it means a hell lot to hear you tell him this, even if it rebels against his deeply ingrained belief that really, he isn't necessary. He never was, never will be.]
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Well, whoever they are, they don't count. [ There's a gentle tug of a smile on the corner of his mouth. ] White noise, Hikaru. That's all they are.
[ What was it his mother had said--
Right.
Catching one of your hands now, passing a thumb over the lines crisscrossing on Hikaru's palm.
( How could a monster have such gentle hands? ) ]
Mom told me what you did. How you stayed and kept her company until she was more or less okay.
Anyone else would have let her be. But not you.
[ His eyes are a little misty now, and he's lifting your palm to his lips and pressing a kiss to the center of it. ] If you were unnecessary, I wouldn't have gotten her back. The world would have since gone to shit, and no one would be better off.
[ Honesty Hour. Because he needs you to hear all this. ] I stopped believing in a God that gave a shit after my mom left without a word. It helped a little when I got sick, easier to think that random, shitty things just happen because you draw the short straw.
But I'm not dead. I have my family and my boys back, I have a blade I would gladly lay myself on the line for, and people who I respect who seem to see something in me that I'm still wrapping my head around.
[ He's pinning you with an honest-to-Elaine look that shows his heart there in his eyes. ] You've had your hand in my life even before either of us ever met.
I don't believe in much by way of divine intervention, but it's a pretty sound defense for why you're relevant enough to exist.
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It's amazing, really, the kind of effect that you have on him. He hasn't had something like this with anyone for such a long time.
This is how he thanks you for making him start to believe in that again: by shifting over, and giving you a soft and quiet kiss right on your mouth.]
I find, for once, that I can't really argue with you there.
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Good.
[ Wrapping his arms around you now and hiding his face in your chest so that he can effectively inhale your familiar scent and bask in your warmth. ]
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Um. Oops. Looking at you a little sheepishly before pushing himself up.]
I should change.
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Go ahead, [ smiling now, and lifting the back of one hand to cover his own mouth because yawns are surprisingly contagious. ]
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You should get some sleep too.
[Then, right after he's gotten his clothes and is about to enter the bathroom:]
You... you can stay with me, if you like.
[And now he's just. Shutting the door behind him now. Yeah.]
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By the time you come out, he's moved to the head of your bed, and he's dozing. Just a little.
He'll crack an eye open when you step back out. ]
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Maybe we can get breakfast in bed later.
[He kind of doesn't want to have to drag himself down to the Hall. That, and he's still feeling a little out of it after that bout he had with his remuneration.]
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There's an amused look that crosses his face at your suggestion -- he could do without listening to poetry from the Whisperers. ]
I am okay with this. [ He's even surprising himself with just how okay he is with it, because the thought does cross his mind that in light of the kiss he'd landed on Hikaru yesterday, some people might note his own absence from the hall.
Or not. He'd feel differently if this were Rhiannon -- but the cat's out if the proverbial bag in that respect, so why fuss over what's done? ]
You sure you're okay with me spending the night?
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