icarusalsoflew | 003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

[ Can't help but brag, but it IS kind of a neat new ability.

Says 'as-a-matter-of-fact'-ly...]

Apparently, Ma'am Lia says I have a gift.

[ Thanks the waiter for serving their coffee and her cake, immediately takes a small sip. ]

I can dream walk, apparently.

[ Just laying it out there. ]

Really?

[Color him intrigued. Not a lot of people could do something like that. The last ones who had awakened to such a thing in his immediate circle were Tala and...

Yeah. Her.]

So you just started seeing things, huh? That must have been interesting.

[ Interesting is quite an understatement. You will find out soon. o_o ]

Yeap! Ma'am Lia's taking me under her wing to train me.
You could say that it was interesting because I actually saw you.

[ Looks up at Hikaru from her coffee mug to measure his reaction. ]

[Said reaction is a very minute pause mid-sip. Then he's taking that sip, setting his cup down, and going for a cigarette.]

Oh?

[Calm, measured, and trying very hard to be neutral.]

What did you see?

[Because now? He HAS to know. Certain things are starting to make a lot of sense.]

[ Here goes nothing. ]

It's...

[ Glances up, finding a way to word it. ]

...a cause for concern, I guess? I saw you and Ma'am Aria.

[ Not even gonna mention that this wasn't her dream per sé, but Lia's. She looks a bit sad at this point. ]

I kind of wanted to check up on you, given everything that's happened.
You are like my 2nd daddy, after all.

[ And kind of the guy who I owe my life to. ]

Edited 2014-02-02 10:36 (UTC)

Ah.

[He should say more, really, but the words aren't coming. Taking another drag, then. And then another.

The look on his face is quiet. He's not angry... he's way past that face, and he's used to having some of his shit get exposed in the worst possible way to people he didn't generally like to bother. It doesn't make it easier; it just gives him practice at not reacting so badly to it on the fly.]

Thank you, then. For checking up, I mean.

[He's smiling at her, but his eyes are sad.]

[ At this point, she reaches for Hikaru's hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, with a reassuring smile. ]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sprung that on you.

[ Eep, probably a bad call to have dragged him out and let the cat out of the bag in public. ]

Can't help but make sure that the people I care about are fine.

[ Durrr, BriBri, no one is 100% fine, not in this side of the fence, at least. ]

...or y'know, relatively fine.

[ Maybe a change in scenery? Think, Brianna! ]

You wanna take this someplace else? [ Gestures at the number of other customers also inside BIzu. ]

No, it's okay.

[Being in public actually helps. It's a constant reminder that he needs to stay in control.]

Your blade mates told you how she and I sort of have a history, right?

[ Should she insist? ]

Uhm... Well, okay if you say so.
And actually, no. They didn't.

[ At least not that she remembered, and she usually remembers.

She looks down at her coffee and swirls the liquid around. ]

Ah. Guess they figured that you'd find out eventually.

[Or end up looking for yourself. Or... well. End up in a dream.

Changeling, sigh.]

She's the reincarnation of the only woman I ever married.

I don't really press for sensitive information. At least not from the people I care about.

Or if I can't do anything about it. [ Which rarely happens. ]

Oh. Uhm. But. [ Taps her nails on her mug, tilting her head to the side while thinking of something to say. Reincarnation?! ]

So did your feelings for your previous wife come back after finding out?

I think they were always there, even before I realized who she was.

[Taking another drag, looking thoughtful.]

It's just... difficult. You see, I... well. [It never gets easy, admitting to this.] She died by my hands.

[ Damn, that's really sad. Beginning to feel bad that he's carrying all that weight and still be there for everyone that needs saving. ]

Oh. Wow... That is difficult.
But... Don't you ever think that you're holding on too much on the guilt you're feeling?

It used to be that way, to be honest. Now, I can say that I really do love her for who she is.

[But. Well.

Right, okay. Smoking now.]

She doesn't really want to believe me. Or maybe she does, and that's what scares her.

[ This is like high school relationship drama, but only on a larger scale. Way larger scale. ]

But...

[ She's thinking twice; should she ask or not? ... Oh what the heck right? ]

Would you know if she loves you back?

I'm pretty sure she does.

[Feelings suck.]

[ Ouch. ]

Wait, so you love her, and she loves you, but you still don't want to be together?

[ For Brianna, the hardest part of a relationship is actually finding somebody to love who loves you back. ]

She doesn't, apparently.

[Apparently. I need some time, and all that.]

It's... [Trailing off, chuckling. This is funny, in a really fucked up way.] Yes, it sounds trite. But it's complicated.

[ This is news to her. Usually, two people that love each other (or even like each other to a certain extent) just naturally get together... right? ]

Well. Shouldn't you be... Uhm, chasing her til she says yes?

[ A brief pause. ]

Shouldn't we all be chasing after what we want?

Believe me, I have been trying to chase after her.

[Putting his cigarette out now, and going for another. He lights up and takes a drag before speaking again.]

But everybody gets tired of trying. Even me.

Edited 2014-02-03 07:34 (UTC)

[ Small smile upon recalling a certain memory. ]

I had a classmate once who would go to the house of the girl he was going for everyday til she finally said yes.

And... You know...

[ She lights up another cigarette as well. Her brain's been too preoccupied trying to comprehend the situation to remember. ]

...the situation won't change unless the people in them do, yknow?
Besides, sometimes I overhear her asking about you or asking how you've been. I'd like to believe that she does care.
Somewhere deep down, she wants to be with you, I just know it.

I hope you're right.

[He really, really, REALLY does. Turning away, taking another drag, exhaling with a sigh.]

This is hard.

[ No shit it's hard. o_o

She leans forward, propping both elbows on the table. ]

So what exactly are you going to do about it?

I need to give myself some time. She's cut me loose, and honestly? It's been crazy down here. I'd rather not be hasty.

[Especially with something like this. Someone like her.]

That's reasonable, right?

[He is honest about asking Brianna for her opinion. He knows that he can be stupid with this sort of thing.]

Yeah, that sounds reasonable. 'Wouldn't want to ruin a good thing' is what they say, right?

[ She slightly tilts her head down and looks Hikaru in the eye for this. ]

Just not too much time, okay?

[ Then she looks away. ]

They say it's difficult to tell when the perfect time is so people keep slacking off, waiting, but I don't believe in all that crap.
You'll know it when it comes.

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