icarusalsoflew | 003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

[Hikaru, on the other hand, stares at him for a moment, and he looks about as lost as he did that other time he ended up in your office and had to eventually apologize for bleeding all over it.

It's disappearing, though, as the younger Malice King attempts, once again, to shore up whatever left of him into himself in a last ditch attempt to remain functional for just a bit longer. Hopefully long enough to get through the door, and away from prying eyes and ears - something he's attempting to do right now.]

I need a drink.

[Yes. Yes, he does.]

[ What's that word you enjoy using so much that everyone gets into the habit of using it eventually? Oh yes -- interesting.

A gentle pat on your shoulder, ] Go sit, Hikaru.

[ He's leaving you to close the door -- you can do that, can't you? -- and making his way over to the liquor cabinet to pick out something for you both. ]

[No words from this one at that, just him shutting the door and locking it, and then making a beeline for that couch and slumping down.

Does he look tired? If so, that's because he is. He doesn't have the mental or emotional strength to deal with any of this, and the shock is starting to settle in.

No lighter for him when he goes for a cigarette; he'll settle for flame from his fingertips. He probably won't be able to get a lighter to work right now, and he knows it.]

[ And what Riley is setting down right in front of you is a bottle of Bourbon, aged well and not yet opened.

The last time you were both here, he was still trying to isolate a new emerging pattern. He's had ample time to observe you since, and to figure out what it might be.

The variables have been consistent, after all. ]

[Reaching over to crack that open --

-- hum. Bourbon. How... apt.

And now he really wishes that he didn't make the connection. You're going to see his expression break a little now, Mr. Falner, right before he's trying yet again (and failing, yet again) to steal himself and focusing on opening the damned bottle.]

On my honor, I swear that whatever we speak of will remain in this room.

[ That's said as he reclines in the chair he's pulled to sit across from you. His gaze is shuttered, but the concern is in the tone that laces the words. ]

I know.

[He trusts you like that. Always has, really, even when he wasn't at his best this year, since your awakening. And he's a little worse for wear now.

Pouring himself a drink, then, and taking a long draught of it before he ever manages to find the words.]

Figured something out today. It kind of... it kind of threw me.

[ He's just going to lean over and pour himself a glass then. You just downed one in one go, after all. His Mother Daywalker senses are tingling. ]

Would you like a cigar?

[ Because it looks like you'll be keeping him company for quite a bit. ]

Yeah... yeah, that would be good.

[His voice broke a little there. Goddamnit.

More Bourbon is definitely in order. Now here's hoping that his hands would stop shaking.]

[ He's rising at that to retrieve his cigar case, out of which he pulls two sticks -- one for you, one for him -- and cutting them both before he settles down on the couch right beside you.

When he presses the stick into your palm, he curls his fingers around yours. ]

Tell me.

[ You will always have his ear. And he will always keep any secrets you wish him to. ]

[Give him a bit. Just two puffs.

There: now he's turning to look up at you with that helpless, painful sort of smile that he only ever gets when his heart's starting to break.]

I'm in love with Joshua LaRue.

[And that is potentially a horrible, horrible thing.]

[ Ah.

Well.

Should he...? Bloody hell, might as well. ]

I was... afraid that might be it.

[ How apt that you're having this conversation on the couch that you had bled into just a few weeks before.

You'll probably see the look on this one's face. Sorry, Hikaru. Might have seen the possibility of that coming. To be fair he had quietly hoped that he was wrong? ]

[Even in his state, he's taking note of that look. Or maybe it's BECAUSE he's in this state that he's hyper aware, and therefore manages to notice it.]

What do you mean by that?

[Please don't tell him that you figured it out before he did --

-- of course you did. What the hell is wrong with him? How could he have been so slow?

Still. The question's out for you to answer as you will. Maybe he doesn't have to hit himself over the head too much after all. ~~Yeah, right.~~]

Edited 2014-05-12 05:37 (UTC)

[ Have a sympathetic look your way, Hikaru. ]

I never meant to pry. But after things went south with Aria, I was worried for you. [ Because that was another door closed in your face. Because he knows that when you love, it is a terrible and beautiful gift. Because you are a little brother to him and sometimes you don't even realize that you are falling until you are flat on the floor. ]

And then we spoke, on this very couch.

[ A sigh. ] And then I heard word that you went to San Diego. [ Have a Look, Blade King. ] With that one. Shortly after his... I gather it was his twenty-eighth birthday?

[Now he's just going to set his glass and his cigar down and sink his head very quietly into his hands for a moment.

Speaking a bit after. It's still muffled by his palms.]

That obvious, huh.

[Obvious to everyone but him, at least until he had made the connection just this morning.

Shit.]

[ Oh, Hikaru...

Have an arm around your shoulders then. He understands how difficult this must -- and will likely, be. The boy is not like the others. ]

Only because I know your patterns well. [ Saying that gently. ] I have known you for more than a handful of millenia.

[Give him a bit to try to figure out how to breathe around all of the tightness in his chest and throat, old friend.

He doesn't quite get to the level of "not okay" that he can manage, but it'll have to do. Pulling back, and going for that cigar again. Then the drink. Then back to the cigar.]

He has no idea.

[ ... ]

Well, that is... problematic.

[ Very.

Okay, he's pouring you both another round. ]

[He is definitely going to get you a bottle to replace that one at another time, because at the rate that he is falling apart right now? He's going to go through that thing very quickly in your company.]

I don't know what to do. I don't think I can change the way I feel, but...

[But the last time he tried, he ended up losing in a big way. Furthermore, risking that with someone who definitely won't be around for very long and also definitely deserves better than him just doesn't seem like a smart idea --

-- screw smart. Maybe at the end of it all, he isn't sure whether he could handle another loss, another possible rejection. Maybe if he had to try again and fail again, it really would end up ruining him.]

[ And if you actually let him know that you will replace the bottle just because you think you ought to, he might just give you a piece of his mind.

The Kings keep booze around for a reason -- and that reason is that it is to be drunk when the occasion requires it. ]

Must you change the way you feel?

[ Yes, it must be asked. ]

Shouldn't I?

[Because this isn't right, and it isn't fair to him, and it probably won't work out anyway. Practically everything that has happened to him as of late seems to be pointing in that direction.]

[ And on Riley's end he's wondering if it is fair to you, because caring about another is something that a person sometimes cannot help. Relationships work both ways, after all. ]

I cannot tell you what it is that you should or should not do, old friend. Because ultimately, whatever you decide to will have consequences for good or for ill.

It is a... "cop out" answer, I understand. But this is your heart. [ He also takes a moment to pause, because he has been taking quiet note of your movements. ] And the boy is also one of your good friends.

[ It is a new friendship, true. But you, of all people, put stock in such things with all your heart. ]

[His lips twist at that, and you're going to see his eyes fix on the way he's twisting his hands around in front of him before he finally occupies them, once again, with the cigar, the Bourbon.]

I can live with that. Us just being friends.

[He can make himself live with that. The Blade King has always been a creature of conviction, hasn't he?]

[ He pats your knee at that. Conversations like this are always so difficult. Perhaps if he knew more, then he could be a little more helpful. ]

Stay as long as you like, Hikaru.

[ That's Riley speak for: this place is a safe place, and I am all too happy to keep you company until you feel that you have gathered yourself together again. ]

003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

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