icarusalsoflew | 003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

[He murmurs a thanks at that, and takes a few leisurely drags in order to collect his thoughts. His gaze is distant, fixed on something well past the tree line on the other side of the Pool.]

They reminded me of the fact that we only have so much time together. They asked me if I was sure. If I was all right with it.

[ He wishes he could say he's surprised -- but he's not. Not entirely. ]

And are you?

[ That's his hand reaching for your free one and tangling your fingers together, holding fast. ]

[And he doesn't pull away. He turns to smile at you, and looks, all at once, helpless and young.]

Acceptance is a process, right? And practice always makes perfect.

[ You turn that smile his way and he's remembering Ireland and the way you had felt in his arms: first, when he'd apologized for being so damn stupid, and later when he'd reassured you that he was staying for good.

His other hand reaches over then to catch you by the nape, drawing you in and pressing your foreheads together. ] Yeah. Yeah, it is.

[ There is still a part of him that quietly wishes that you both could have more time, but it's only human to want things, right? Because wanting is a thing that is part of being alive.

But now, more than ever, he understands what his Dad meant, when he'd called to express his worry over you as you'd been curled at his side in your bedroom at the Wolf'd Ward of Seigi. How it's what you make of the time that you have that matters, and he intends to take that piece of advice to heart.

Afterall, his parents are two of the most solid people he knows, who've made their love work in spite of all the shit that had actually snatched away so many years that could have been spent together. ]

Wanna make like silly teenagers and cuddle all night?

Maybe after you tell me how your talk went.

[Because that would be an excellent diversion and a good way for him to recenter himself and move past this. That, and he also wants to make sure that his strange extended family of friends, lovers and family didn't end up scarring you for life.]

[ That's making him laugh. ]

It was... enlightening.

[ That's putting it lightly. It was humbling really, to have Aidan Clayce, Riley Falner, Alistair Mordechai, Kasumi Aoi, Tohru and Asami Fukuzawa thank him for doing for you what they said they could not. What could he say to that, really? These people have known you for much longer than he has.

He's leaning his shoulder against yours after that pause. ] It was also very humbling.

[And he's putting his head against yours as he looks off towards the Pool.]

Were you expecting them to string you up over a slow fire?

[Because... they kind of do that. Metaphorically, of course, but the feeling's about the same.]

[ That's him turning his head and pressing his nose against the side of yours. ]

I think that there was a point where they were starting on that, and then they changed directions and opened fire on Alistair.

[Chuckling now, because he can see that happening. It feels oddly like 2012, but in a very good way.]

They might have felt sorry for you.

[Or maybe Alistair just made such a delicious target...]

[ He's pretty sure it was because the Seer had facepalmed so much and it was hard to let that go. ]

You think? [ He's grinning at you now, in that way that shows that he's so good with this. Besides. It's always so good to see you smiling. He'd do anything to make sure that you do that a lot more if he could.

He's looking back towards the Dragon's Pool now though. ]

I didn't expect the thank you. [ That's said softly. It really had been unexpected. As far as he's concerned: he loves you, he wants to do everything in his power to make you happy while you two have the time that you have together. He doesn't need to be thanked for it. But he gets what they all meant. ]

Edited 2014-06-05 12:26 (UTC)

Well, they do worry about me way too much.

[He can say that with confidence now, and without a single hint of sarcasm or irritation. He's good: he's better than he's ever been. And things are only looking up from here, at least on the personal front.]

[ That is a great opening--

--should he...? Yeah, okay. ]

You're kind of worth worrying over.

[ A beat, then: ] The best people usually are.

[ And just to make sure you don't take it the wrong way he's also leaning in to steal a kiss... and then lingering a little because kissing you is always nice.

( Ambiance? Check. You smiling? Check. Perfect angle of the moon? Check. ) ]

[...Okay yeah he is fine with this. The way he kisses back will probably tell you as much, together with how that last bit of tension is finally bleeding away from his shoulders and the rest of his body.]

Does that mean that I get to worry about a kid like you more often?

[Because you're always and ever going to be younger than him, LaRue.]

Edited 2014-06-05 13:43 (UTC)

[ And he's cupping your cheek in his hand, before he traces the line of your cheek and then affectionately flicks a finger gently over the tip of your nose. ]

As long as you tell me that you trust that I'll hold my own out there.

[ Because the fight isn't over. Amadeus is still out there, and if anything, this last engagement has confirmed that old monsters don't die as easily as most people hope. But a win is a win. Valkyrie had been that shadow looming in the back, the real shape and face hidden just enough from sight. Things can be better now, amends can be made, or if that conspiracy can't be made whole again, then he'll be content to let people like Brig, like his mother and Lincoln Hawke carry on the memory of a better what-could-have-been.

His hand is falling away and he tangles his fingers with yours. ]

I want to get stronger. [ He's not afraid to you show you his weaknesses, or be honest with the things he doesn't feel he has the luxury of showing to anyone else. The Hounds get it, he knows that much, and he knows that the people who count as family -- extended or otherwise -- believe in him already, but he's got a responsibility to them too. ] I want to get stronger for everyone who matters. [ Those blue eyes of his are fixed on yours now. ] For you.

[It's hard, for a moment, to do anything but look at you and study, once again, the familiar lines of your face, the way your eyes look in this light, the curve of your mouth. He squeezes your hand afterward, though, ducks his gaze, takes a breath and then leans in to kiss you.]

Just don't lose yourself in it, okay?

[Strength meant nothing if you lost sight of why you were trying to be "better" in the first place.]

And don't forget to ask for help when you actually need it.

[ He's kissing you back and then shifting closer so that he can lean his forehead against yours. ]

I won't. [ Howard had wanted to be stronger and look where it got him. There was a time that Josh had wanted nothing more than to look down at the corpse of that man for every little sin that he'd done. And now? Now Josh just felt sorry for him. ]

I promise.

[ That's on both counts. ]

Besides, I have all of you to keep me grounded. And I have every reason to keep my head in the game.

[ A war is a war, but what's the point of a second chance at living if he can't even be bothered to enjoy it.

A thumb across your cheek now. ] I love you. I know I say that a lot, but I really do.

Edited 2014-06-06 04:55 (UTC)

I love you too.

[Those words never seem to lose meaning between the two of you, no matter how many times it's been said. It's rather different from how, with many of the others he has been with, speaking of how much one party loved the other just wasn't part of the deal, or somehow felt wrong.

You're a bit of an exception to many rules, though, aren't you?]

We haven't been in my room for a while now.

[Random? Not so much.]

[ He'll keep on saying those words as often as he can, because no matter how many times he says it, the weight and value of them won't lessen in the least. Because can't see that happening at all. ]

No, [ there's a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth at that. It's been kind of ages since you two hung out there, given everything that's gone on.

Who knew that two months could feel so much longer, right? ] No, we haven't.

[ He's sneaking a kiss right below your ear. Sure, there's like what? A seven year age gap between you two and you're technically not really twenty ( holy fuck, wait... TWENTY, okay no, will not think on that right now, you'll be twenty-one day after tomorrow anyway ) if you have to count the twenty-eight life cycles you'd lived before this. But who cares? He feels younger than he is when he's with you, and maybe, just maybe -- it's the same on your end.

Who says youth has to be wasted on the young? ]

Wanna go be teenagers and make out?

[ He is only half-teasing. ]

[Laughing at that, and leaning in to nip playfully at your bottom lip.]

Are you sure we're just going to make out?

[Sending you a Significant Look now.]

[ There's that smile. ]

Well, we could start with that.

[ Kissing you again, just because he can. ]

As for what happens after... [ grinning against your mouth now. ] Well.

[He'll top that kiss you just gave him with one of his own. Is he relaxed enough to start getting turned on? Just a little bit.]

It would be a most satisfying way to end this evening, in my humble opinion.

[ He'll slip his hand into yours now and tangle your fingers together as he unfolds his legs from underneath him. ]

Then let's go. [ It's been a long day and he'd like nothing better than to spend the remainder of the evening in your arms. ]

[He'll stand up as well, and pretty much immediately step right back into your space in order to kiss you. That one lingers, and there's a funny sort of look when he pulls back just enough to put his forehead against yours and catch his breath over your lips.

Give him a bit. It's a little hard to look at you right now, since it has occurred to him, yet again, that you've kind of saved his life, and he is kind of really gone on you, and yet the both of you won't have nearly as much time together as he would have liked.]

[ Okay, wait.

Those are his hands coming up to frame your face and tip your eyes up to his. He's not going to force it, not if you don't want to -- because then he's going to bend his knees a little so that he can peer at you instead. ]

Hey... [ That's said gently.

He won't press. He wants to have faith that one of these days, maybe when things slow down a little ( shooting for the moon, but what the heck, right? ) you'll start voicing your thoughts to him voluntarily.

He has an idea what this could be about. But he doesn't want to think too hard along those lines either. The time you have with each other is precious -- and could be put to better use outside of worrying. It's a work-in-progress though, because he has his own angst about the limited Time that you two have, but he doesn't want a repeat of the lead-up to Ireland. ]

Edited 2014-06-10 21:29 (UTC)

Sorry.

[That's coming out a little too soft and a touch helpless. He's smiling, though, and while it's a funny sort of gesture, it isn't entirely broken.]

I just... I'm really happy that you're in my life.

003. and in every raindrop... // open post.

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