icarusalsoflew | eudio

What can I say? Foreplay is like Latin - a dying art that should not be confined to memory alone.

You've just drawn a comparison to an ancient language and sex.

I love you even more than I already do now.

Hikaru, please. You're taken.

Hey, I can love a lot of people at once. And there ARE different kinds of love, you know. :)

[ ...Totally didn't just add that to make the statement less grave or real, hahahaha... ]

[Totally sees right through is, which means that she has to ask - in the spirit of ...look, it's difficult to be the friend of both, if there's conflict in between.]

Is Josh okay with that?

[ Um.

Wow. Uh. ]

I'd like to think that he is. Maybe it's more like he tries his best to be.

[He does seem like the kind of person. The kind who would very much try. She doesn't say that, though.

ACTUALLY WALKED HERSELF INTO A CORNER, HERE. Teenage boys with bad boy issues were much easier to pinpoint than you two.]

It's going to sound rehearsed but, if it makes you happy.

[ And now he feels the strong need to explain. It's probably because you--

And he can't, or more like shouldn't-- ]

Don't get me wrong: I'm the odd one out, I think, and I can love a lot of people at the same time. But I'll always stay completely loyal to the person who has decided to be with me. At the moment, it's Josh.

If I do end up finding somebody who means as much as he does to me here in Eudio, I won't act on my feelings unless Josh loves them too.

[Again, the thought is inevitable: but they're both so lucky they're here together. What would Eudio have been like, if they hadn't been? If only one had come?]

He's a tough act to follow, though. Whoever that could be, they'd have to be nothing short of amazing.

Yeah.

They'd also have to be okay with this. With me. I've... kind of got shit luck when it comes to relationships, and I'm definitely not the best person out there, for anybody.

Okay, don't be stupid.

[ Yep, it sure did take a while for this response to come in. ]

Sorry about that. Thank you.

[ What else can he say, really? He could tell her all about every single other relationship that's gone up in smoke. He could tell her about the things he's done. He could push her away if he really wanted to.

(There's the rub. Does he want to?) ]

I had this weird impression that you were highly intelligent and that was one of the things I liked about you - what's this nonsense about 'not the best person'?

Hit yourself over the head with your phone right now. In my name, do it.

Can I settle for buying you nice things instead?

NO? That's hardly educational.

[This one takes a while to come, if only by virtue of being a long message. Or maybe it's that she writes and rewrites it three times, and sits on sending it all of thirty-three seconds.]

Hikaru.
You are one of the best people I have met here. Regardless of what you do in your world, both you and Josh have shown me nothing but kindness and compassion and those are not traits of a bad person. I'm good at recognizing the creeps out of the crowd, which neither of you are.
I think anyone should be so lucky to have you as part of their lives.
And look, Josh is - and does - so you must do something right? I don't know where the wave of insecurity comes from, but it's not like you. I think.
No, I know.

[ Full disclosure: he thought that the delay in your response was because you might have actually given up on this conversation.

He is a lot more relieved than he can express, or even want to let on. Yep. ]

You're right. Sorry about that. I guess I'm still adjusting to being in Eudio after all.

No, really. What's wrong?
You don't have to tell me why, if you don't want to, but - I'm good at listening, too.

Just a lot of things and people have been reminding me of some of the issues that I don't really get to think much about or deal with back home. Does that make sense?

[ Then, in an immediate follow up message: ]

I know it's kind of late, but can I call?

[ He's actually stepped out unto the balcony of the apartment that he shares with Josh - or, more accurately, the balcony in the other apartment, which functions more like storage to them than anything else at the moment. Josh is asleep, and the kitten's curled up close to him. ]

[Does it make sense to have lingering issues she hasn't thought about, or talked to anyone about since here? Yes.]

You can.

[She's not any close to going to sleep, anyway.]

[ And he's almost immediately regretting his life decisions, but...

Here goes nothing. Your phone's ringing now. ]

[Quietly,] Hi.

Hi.

[ There's a bit of a pause, then a soft laugh. ]

This escalated quickly.

I thinkg it's my secret gift to bring the jokes to a sudden stop. [A little pause on her end, too; on her side of the phone, she's biting her lip.]

Sorry. Are you okay?

I've been better.

[ There: Josh would be proud of him. He didn't default, automatically, to "I'm fine". ]

It's just that I do worry, you know? About Josh. He's really good to me.

[ And he handles Hikaru's crazy in such a perfect way, it's surreal. ]

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